5 Superman Feats Too Ridiculous To Believe


Superman is a powerhouse, yet somehow he still doesn't get the respect that he deserves. People are always talking Superman vs Goku for some reason. We're acting like Superman has an upper limit. He doesn't, he exists to break limits down. I'm not talking about the classic 1939 Superman who was just faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive and could leap tall buildings in a single bound, but couldn't fly. So I sat down and picked some of the most ridiculous Superman feats just because you need to respect the man.

1. Lifts a book with infinite pages - So Superman and Shazam are trapped in the limbo between aww 52 DC Universes. There they discover a library containing a book with infinite pages, that has an infinite number of books contained in it. The two believe it could give them information on escaping so they plan to take it to their ship with infinite computing power to read the book. So they lift. I know what you're saying. Shazam was there too, so it doesn't count. So I ask you, what is infinity divided by two? That's right, it's still infinity. The man can lift infinite weight when he's determined.

2. Scream's away Darkseid's soul -During Final Crisis Superman realized Darkseid hated the sound of music. So Superman just yelled some random songs until Darkseid's soul was canceled out. Then Darkseid just died. Yeah, it ended with Superman using a song to kill a man by screaming it so loudly that his soul dissipated. That's just disgusting, and we're arguing if he can beat Goku? Goku takes forever to yell and power up, when Superman yells he's snatching souls.

3. Lifts Spectre - In another display of Superman's ability to lift whatever the hell he wants. He and Wonder Woman team up to lift The Spectre. You may be saying so what, but do you know how much he weighs? Well, The Spectre weighs as much as the conscience thoughts of every living creature for all of eternity. That's right, Superman lifted eternity, a measurement of time. How much does time even weigh? Doesn't matter, Superman lifts it. 

4. Sneezed Solar System away - Peep game, my boy Superman had to sneeze, so he flew light years away to another solar system. Then he let it go and finally sneezed. He blew a whole solar system away with that sneeze. The feat here isn't actually sneezing a solar system away. The feat is holding a sneeze for light years. Do you know how hard it is to hold a sneeze? A sneeze will fuck you up and he's just holding them back like it's all good.

5. Dragging Planets - In an attempt to save a solar system from a dying galaxy, Superman somehow gets a big ass chain, not the same kind as T-Pain wears. Anyway he chains up all the planets in that galaxy and drags them to the other side of the universe because fuck logic. Will those people die due to spontaneous climate change passing those of biblical proportions? No, because he's fucking Superman and he's ridiculous. Goku, put that in your pipe and smoke it.

You can hear Darrell on the CP Time and Powerbomb Jutsu podcasts. He also plays classic arcade games on The Cabinet. You can also check out his playthrough of Sleeping Dogs.
5 Superman Feats Too Ridiculous To Believe 5 Superman Feats Too Ridiculous To Believe Reviewed by Darrell S. on Tuesday, November 08, 2016 Rating: 5

9 comments:

  1. He could literally beat Goku ass with his hands tied behind his back while blind folded

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    Replies
    1. Goku could never beat Superman. I don't know what people think when they say he could.

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    2. Did you not even read the article?

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  3. So I sat down and picked some of the most ridiculous Superman feats just because you need to respect the man.
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  5. Work on your comprehension, at no point has Superman lifted infinite weight.

    Superman: "A book with an infinite number of pages occupying the same space"," this contains every book possible!".

    (Superman and Shazam attempt to take the book to a spaceship)

    Superman: "The Ultima Thule's onboard computer has infinite memory capacity"

    Shazam: "Which means it could read every page of the book at once.".

    Every book possible is a finite number of books, not an infinite number of books. There is no context to the weight. Furthermore, the fact that there an infinite number of pages does not mean the book has infinite mass, the pages simply loop until the end and, as we later see, the book does indeed have an end, which of course contradicts the statement that the book has an infinite number of pages! The silly theory that the book had infinite mass is also contradicted by the fact that the book was going to be taken onboard The Ultima Thule, when was it ever stated that the Ultima Thule could support infinite mass? Never.

    At no point do Superman and Shazam lift the book, they don’t even lift a single page. They place their hands in the sphere as the pages of the book are falling apart. We see 7 or so pages inside the sphere. Superman and Shazam grab for the same page but are unable to lift it.

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  6. ok maybe superman can defeat goku but he cant defeat grand priest at all.he can remove peoples powers
    so shut the frick up superman fans.

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    Replies
    1. Dude, even if he took away superman's powers, wouldn't superman technically still have his body that can lift infinite weight, eternity and can sneeze solar systems away.

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