I've done a done a few of these. All of them except the first one has been based on request from the readers. However, we haven't touched a DC yet. Until now. Today I'm going to tell you why Hal Jordan is trash. Hal Jordan was the first human Green Lantern and according to some he went on to be the greatest of all Green Lanterns. He's credited with ending the War of Light and The Blackest Night.1. I'll get it out of the way now because you know it's coming. He's racist. Seriously he's racist
2. He's marketed as THE Green Lantern. John Stewart (Black), Kyle Rayner (Latino), Simon Baz (Lebanese), Guy Gardner (Abuse Victim) and a reach, but Alan Scott (gay) are all simply marketed as Green Lantern and always end up playing sidekick to Hal in crossovers. Despite John being more decorated, Kyle remaining in good standard and Scott being more experienced. It's because Hal is just your every day white guy. Petty petty petty.
3. He's clumsy. Seriously watch him fall a lot.
4. Can't control his own ring
5. He's a womanizer and often ruins their lives. Carol Ferris for example. Need I say more?
5. When he touches Wonder Woman's waist hoping to grab a feel he accidentally touches her lasso. This causes him to tell the truth. What was the truth? He's not a good person. He just wants to impress people.
6. Batman makes a fool of him regulary
7. Sinestro made it impossible to remove his hand from his lantern
8. Batman and Robin just like to screw with him
9. He got taken out by Dick Grayson who had been training less than a week at the time
10. Batman and Robin painted a room, including themselves, yellow just to annoy him and then served him lemonade. He got so mad he started calling Batman a criminal. Batman laughs and Hal starts a fight
11. We gonna act like Coast City wasn't destroyed because he decided to go on vacation and not tell anyone to watch the city?
12. We gonna act like he didn't destroy the Green Lantern Corps?
13. We gonna act like he didn't kill Killowog?
14. We gonna act like he didn't kill all the Guardians except one?
15. We gonna act like he isn't a child molester?
16. He's an idiot. Has to be the dumbest Justice League member ever. Clearly the dumbest Green Lantern and that's saying something because Guy's solution is to just hit everything. At least Guy finds a weak point to hit.
17. When Hal offered a serious solution Batman almost died laughing.
18. He thinks he's cool, but he's boring.
19. He's homeless because he's a screw up
20. He gets beat up. A lot here's a list. Green Arrow, Flash, Batman, Wildcat, Power Girl, Mr. Terrific #1 Terry Sloane, Katma Tui, Tree, Tree, Log, Tree Branch, Tree, Lamp
You can hear Darrell on the CP Time and Powerbomb Jutsu podcasts. He also plays classic arcade games on The Cabinet
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This list just killed me. I never liked him but now I have no respect for him. He lame as hell
ReplyDeleteHe's the lamest Lantern and that's why DC keeps creating new ones. Nobody wants Hal anymore.
DeleteKyle has been my favorite GL since I learned of him. Not for any of these reasons, but because Kyle was WAY stronger than Hal. Also, I can more identify with Kyle due to him being an artist.
ReplyDeleteJohn is a close second.
John is my first, probably because I grew up on the Justice League cartoon. Kyle is second, he's pretty cool. Did you read The Omega Men?
DeleteJohn doesn't get shine because I believe there is a tendency to downplay brothas in comics unless they kiss @ss, conform to stereotypes, or because the white male demographic can't stand to see them show out. They don't mind a black female if she romances white guys, but black males always seem to have some type of criticism as to why they aren't "that good."
ReplyDeleteIt's like how Batman does something and every thinks it's awesome but Black Panther can do the same thing and people start questioning it despite Black Panther having Batman beat in every category.
DeleteExactly. Reminds me how Panther has a lot of anticipation building, so now all of a sudden people want to see Moon Knight get more attention (wtf). Or because Boyega may be a Jedi in Star Wars, let's shift focus to/continously talk about the Stormtroopers
DeleteGood post. I'd like to add though...in my opinion...DC has been shyte and outdated for some time now.
ReplyDeleteAn ultra rich industrialist looses his family to crime...so instead of using his wealth and connections to reform a crooked system...he spends billions on a cape mask and toys to beat up dope pushers and mental health patients.
Lame...and don't get me started on the big blue.
L after L
ReplyDeleteEsas razones ni tienen sentido xd
ReplyDeleteSo, how does Geoffrey Thorne’s cum taste?
ReplyDelete