John Henry Irons, the man of steel. Not Superman, but the closest thing the hood can get. Why not give this character a movie? I've always said make hundreds of low budget films with minor characters. I don't know why companies got away from that model. Clearly, they were using it when they decided Shaq should star as John Henry Irons in 1997's Steel. Thank goodness for Ray J.
Our film starts with John Henry in the arm testing a sonic cannon alongside his best friend, and sort of love interest Susan Sparks. A senator asks for the weapon to be turned up to max and their Commander Nathaniel Burke turns it up. The Senator dies and Susan is paralyzed from the waist down. A trial ensues and Bruke is expelled from the army. John Henry quits because building weapons has suddenly taken a toll on his soul.
Just by coincidence Burke is now selling weapons in John Henry's hometown, using arcade machines. John Henry and his little brother Martin get caught in the crossfire of a bank robbery as the criminals use the weapons John had designed. John decides that he needs to do something about this. He enlists Shaft, no, Uncle Joe, played by Richard Roundtree. He also brings Susan in to help him. The three create a 75lb stainless steel suit of armor, a hammer and motorcycle for him to take on the gangs and arms dealers. Unfortunately, the police believe he's a danger as well so they're in the fight too.
I won't sit here and tell you Shaq delivered an incredible performance, because he didn't. Shaq is a bad actor, and they know it. They don't even hide that he's Shaq. Nobody bothers covering up his Superman tattoo, and he constantly misses free throws then everyone looks at the camera. The film is campy and filled with over the top gang members wearing eyepatches and eccentric jewelry. It's a silly film and never tries to be anything else. From Grandma Odessa forcing everyone to speak in ASMR so she can finally bake a soufflé to Martin craving money like a mad man.
Shaq is a terrible actor, the serious scenes were horrible. But, he does have great comedic timing. Additionally, he had to memorize all of his lines and attend acting classes during the 1996 Summer Olympics; in which he won a gold medal. With just 5 weeks to film and record music videos, because Shaq is on the soundtrack, he pulled it off.
Critics killed this movie and hated everyone in it except Annabeth Gish, who was praised for her portrayal of Susan Sparks bringing attention to the struggles of those using wheelchairs. The movie wasn't made to inspire or change lives. They had Richard Roundtree in the film making jokes about how he "love the shaft," or he's a "bad brother," because he was Shaft.
If you haven't seen Steel in a long time, or never saw it. You should watch it. The film is enjoyable, not good, but enjoyable. There's a lot of laughs from how bad it is, or the film poking fun at itself. This is one of those films where it's so terrible, that you can't help but enjoy it. I personally think we need a sequel with Ray J as the villain. Steel's little brother is his arch nemesis in the comics, so why not. We can get someone as Steel's niece, the story is already written. It's either a Steel Sequel, or another Swamp Thing show.
You can check out some of my short stories at 12 AM Fiction or if you like vampires follow my web serial Exsanguinate and of course hear me on the Powerbomb Jutsu podcast if you enjoy pro wrestling.
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