Virgil Hawkins is the man. Long before Miles Morales came along Virgil was the black Spider-Man. Created as a combination of a younger Black Lightning and a black Peter Parker he was born. He was instantly loved by several generations of children from 90s the 00s and likely the 10s in the future. Virgil gained his powers in the Big Bang, a show down between all the gangs in Dakota.Since then he's gone out of his way to save the world one person at a time through fists or words. I have to put a disclaimer before these posts now, otherwise people will hundreds of tweets about how we're ruining blerd culture, or Shazam deserves respect. It's a joke, don't take yourself too seriously. Without further warning here's 20 reasons Static is trash:
The Comics
1. His superhero name is Static, but people keep calling him Static Shock
2. He's more relevant to DC animation than comics
3. He's had some of the worst costumes ever. The Jackie X Robinson and Battery man are probably the worst. The man is tacky
4. He's homophobic. When his best friend Rick Stone came out as gay Static didn't want to be his friend anymore. They became friends again because Static didn't have any other friends.
5. Static only has like 3 friends. Don't let the TV show fool you, he was not popular at all.
6. He's got electric based powers. Couldn't you be original? Do you know how many black heroes have electric powers? Black Lightning was first then came Storm, Volt, Coldcast, Rapture, and so on.
7.He quits. Yeah, the TV show painted this idea of 65 year old Static still fighting crime, leading the Justice League and being one of the most powerful heroes ever through strength and intelligence. In reality he quit after high school, became a doctor and married Freida then started a family. He never went back to being a hero. He gave up on the people.
8. Virgil was going to shoot a kid. The TV show made it seem all cool like he was forced into a gang. But he had all intentions of shooting his bully, a racist named Biz Money B. Virgil bought the gun in the comics. In the TV show he gets handed a gun and throws it away. I mean, he's racist but Virgil was still planning to murder someone and escape charges.
9. The fictional character he identifies with most is Pikachu. Not a cool and awesome Raichu but a Pikachu.
10. He got his arm cut off for an 8 issue miniseries that was cancelled after 6.
The TV Show
11. Richie has super powers now because, I don't know. It didn't really add to the show. Static got a sidekick and they could sell more toys...I get it now.
12. Almost every time he gets in a fight he's thrown into a dumpster. It's a running gag because they're trying to tell us that Static is trash.
13. They turned Milestone heroes into villains instead of using Static's regular villains. Aquamarina was not a villain. She's an entire hero and member of the Blood Syndicate, a group of heroes made up of former gang members. That sounds like a villain group, okay. I get this one.
14. Fanboys, they're fan boys. Richie actually squeals when he meets Superman. Static almost passes out when John Stewart shows up. He thinks Batman is the greatest hero of all time and he pours out his hear to Soul Power (Black Lightning proxy, same as Black Vulcan, they didn't want to pay Tony Isabella) about how he was an inspiration. Then there was Shaq, and Lil Romeo.
15. Anyone who learns Static's secret identity basically dies. Speedwarp learns, and he's stuck moving at the speed of a snail for all time. Omnara discovers and Richie creates a virus that leaves her brain dead. Omnifarious learns and he's frozen forever as a living statue. So yeah, basically murder.
16. Virgil almost got a kid sent to jail. Marcus was a classmate of his who would get into a lot of fights because of his bad temper. He spent some time in juvenile detention. When he got out a hulk like creature was destroying the city. Virgil assumed it was Marcus. Marcus was actually being framed. In reality Virgil harassed Marcus until he lost his temper and tried to start a fight. Marcus had been going to therapy since his release to get his anger under control. Shameful.
17. When Daisy is stuck in the hospital because Static was showing off and got her hurt. He goes around town fighting crime and beating people senseless for silly crimes like jaywalking. He was running around like he wasn't eventually going to be shot out the air by police.
18. Static beats a lot of villains by just talking to them. Who is this guy? Mr. Rogers? You better punch that dude in the face.
19. There's no real injuries. Richie got shot but there wasn't any blood. In the next episode they reference it but he was already fully recovered. Nobody gets hurt unless they're metaphorically killed or actually killed. As long as you don't die, get frozen or become brain dead you'll recover very fast.
20. You can add this to the comic sides too if you'd like. Static is a nerd. I mean straight up no friends, bad body odor (due to dumpsters), socially inept not awkward, hiding in a dark room playing dungeons and dragons, new 52 no heroics costume making, oh waifu my waifu, revenge of the nerds is so cool, grown man suing over Yu-Gi-Oh cards nerd. You think he'll write for us?
You should buy Darrell's Book, watch him on the Blerds Online YouTube Channel or The CP Time and Powerbomb Jutsu podcasts.
This article is trash.
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