I never really got the Tales From The Crypt. I assumed they were supposed to be horror with a side of comedy, but I usually just didn't get it. Probably because I was a kid. I don't know. But, I'm a mostly functioning adult now so maybe things have changed.
Demon Knight revolves around Frank Brayker trying to keep one of the keys to the apocalypse, holding the blood of Jesus Christ, away from a collector. The collector is a powerful demon with the power to summon little demon pests. After a chase he travels to a run down hotel. Inside the hotel he meets a cast of characters including Jada Pinkett Smith as Jeryline who becomes the star. It also features CCH Pounder from The Shield and a ton of other stuff, as Irene who owns the hotel. There's some other people there but they're all demon food and forgettable.
The Collector showed up and just slaughters them all. The blood has the power to block demons from entering a place by going "sprinkle sprinkle" with the blood. In the end Jeryline and Irene are the only ones not tempted by the demon but Irene doesn't make it and Brayker gives Jeryline the key and makes her the new Guardian. She travels the world happily ever after once she kills the demon.
Now let me tell you how bad this movie is. With the exception of Jada, CCH, and Billy Zane as the Collector nobody in this movie could act. They were all bad. But, the three I mentioned were acting to save the movie. Irene was fed up with everything from the jump. At one point she tells "get that pussy off my table" at which point a prostitute and a cat are removed from the table. Her death in the movie was great too. I don't want to spoil it but it was bad ass. Billy Zane is just over the top crazy. It's like he knows he's in a bad movie so he decided to pretend he was Jim Carey as The Mask instead of a demon. I'm sure Jada got the starring role because most of the other actors couldn't portray fear of rage without yelling how scared or angry they were.
The script was just bad and is filled with jokes that don't really go over. The funnies part of the film is The Colletor and I don't even think they wrote half the funny stuff he did. There's also plot holes that don't make any sense. Flashbacks randomly inserted and just a bad time. Now I will give them props for the special effects and demon work because for 1995 that was looking good.
The movie is no good, but if you watch it, you're going to laugh at three things. A possibly drugged up Billy Zane, CCH Pounder doing live Cinema Sins before Cinema Sins and Jada giving a top of the line acting performance while most of her castmates are pretending it's a high school play. For real, she's crying and changing voice octaves while everyone is giving these Bill and Ted monotone deliveries like this is so typical.
I guess I still don't like Tales From The Crypt. Personally, I'm excited for the version that didn't get made. The collector would have been a Bible salesman with an army of salesmen who killed everyone instead of demons. But Universal didn't want to do that so they gave them extra money for the demons. Now would you believe me if I said this got sequels? I'm not watching those. I'm just not. It's not in my nonexistent contract.
You should buy Darrell's Book, watch him on the Blerds Online YouTube Channel or The CP Time and Powerbomb Jutsu podcasts.
