Barry Allen is Trash

Everyone knows Barry Allen is The Flash. He was an ordinary forensic scientist who was struck by a bolt of lightning while spilling chemicals on himself. Turning him into one of the most powerful metahumans in not just DC Comics but Marvel as well. (During Crisis on Infinite Earths Barry ran himself to death. However it was later revealed he didn't actually die. In Marvel a blonde man in a tattered version of Barry's suit appeared in their universe only remembering he was running non stop. He beats all of Marvel's other speedsters in a race. When Barry Allen was revived in Final Crisis Fastforward vanished from Marvel. You can say it wasn't proven to be Barry but even so Barry has appeared as Barry in Marvel and DC crossovers and still been the fastest) Barry Allen is what a hero is all about more than any other hero, but he's still trash.

1. There's just too many other people who are or have gone by some variation of The Flash. Barry Allen, Bart Allen, Jay Garrick, Wally West, Wally West and Wally West again. Not to mention one off characters and villains like Reverse Flash. We get it, get an original name.

2. He's friends with Hal Jordan

3. Who names a kid Bartholomew

4. The trickster is just a less clever Joker

5. The Flash Museum

6. He's got blonde hair but nobody ever gets that right (Justice League 3000 = Red, Both TV Shows = Brown, Film = Black)

7. He KEEPS fucking up the DC Timeline

8. Cosmic Treadmill

9. Fat Flash was a thing. He wasn't very fast and his biggest enemy was low self esteem

10. He holds back on going as fast as he can because he's scared. Someone get this guy some training wheels

11. He totally destroyed a whole timeline once to save his mother. Millions died or had their lives effected.

12. He's fast enough to out run death but still managed to die.

13. His original idea for the Kid Flash costume was to have Wally West dressed like a shorter version of himself because that's really original

14. Super speed, but always late

15. He purposely lost to Superman in charity races, just to brag later

17. Captain Boomerang, The Mirror Master, The Weather Wizard, Golden Glider and so on. Who names his rogues? At least Penguin looks like a penguin, the Joker tells jokes and The Riddler leaves riddles. But what about Weather Wizard? Is he an actual wizard? No. He's just some guy who controls the weather with his stick. Until he got bonded to it, now he's a guy who controls the weather but becomes suicidal and depressed when he makes it rain.

18. Barry Allen supposedly generates the Speed Force with every move he makes, this means other DC Universe speedsters are all dependent on him existing for their super speed. But, what about characters like Jay Garrick, Johnny Quick and Max Mercury who existed before Barry even got stuck by the bolt of lightning. How are they dependent on Barry if they existed before he was connected to the speed force? HOW SWAY HOW YOU AIN'T GOT THE ANSWERS

19. In South America The Flash was once known as Flush Man. Yeah, he's The Toilinator's cousin. Flush Man sounds like the guy people call when they clog the toilet after having dinner with their co-worker who didn't season their food and you could see where the meat wasn't fully cooked so you tried to eat around it because you know that chicken ain't supposed to be pink in the middle. He's also been nicknamed The Flasher you can image why that didn't work out.

20. Just like Laura Bush, Ted Kennedy and Caitlin Jenner, he killed a person

You can hear Darrell on the CP Time and Powerbomb Jutsu podcasts. He also plays classic arcade games on The Cabinet
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