The Wrestling Fans I Hate

Wrestling is like a Soap Opera to me. A scripted drama that still requires talent to perform. If it's bad, I look somewhere else and come back in a few weeks or months. It's no big deal. However to some people wrestling is a big deal and I just don't understand those people. (Says the guy who does a wrestling podcast) I sat down and came up with a list of things I don't understand about wrestling fans.

1. People who comment on every social media post from a wrestling company. I get it, you really miss Daniel Bryan

2. People who are extreme fans of one person. We get it you love Daniel Bryan, shut up about it already

3. Guys who don't believe women can like wrestling so they talk to them like children. Hint: this makes women pretend they don't like wrestling because they don't want to be around guys like you

4. Guys who reeeallly want to sleep with women wrestlers. This creepy. I think Sasha Banks is a great wrestler too, oh you meant you really wanted to sleep with her and you've never "seen" a match because you're trying to get pics of her ass

5. Seriously, women are people too and it makes everyone uncomfortable when you keep talking about how you would tear that ass up

6. "What" chants. Steve Austin has been retired for a long time now. Let that shit go.

7. "Holy Shit" chants for simple shit

8. "ECW" chants. It's dead

9. "We are awesome chants." Really feeling yourself huh?

10. Ryback fans, seriously what's wrong with you people

11. You hate WWE but won't watch anything else

12. People who watch just to be miserable

13. People who challenge wrestlers to fights on the internet. Mark Henry is legit the worlds strongest man without steroids. Nobody who doesn't use steroids has beaten any of his records. That was 20 years ago. He's a 44 year old man who pulls semi trucks for charity on the weekend and can still dunk a basketball. You can't kick his ass.

14. People who carry around replica belts everywhere for no reason. Dude, it's an economics class, why do you have the Intercontinental Championship? No offense to Bomani Jones who sometimes breaks out the world heavyweight championship to celebrate. I can't hate that. Stunt on these hater Black Flair

15. Throwing a fit and demanding that one guy has to be the star of the company. Shut up, your opinion doesn't matter to anyone

16. People who think that if a wrestler didn't do a decade on the independent scene wrestling for a case of beer in front of rednecks missing teeth but still chewing tobacco they can never be a real wrestler

17. People who have their own gimmicks on social media etc. I call myself King, I don't run around in a crown knocking people out with a scepter and yelling "OFF WITH THEIR HEADS"

18. Women who keep talking about how they want to fuck Roman Reigns and the other guys. You're just as bad as the guys. See #4

19. Old people who keep talking about how wrestling was better in their day. I've seen wrestling in the 80s most of it was horrible, the 90s had great stories but the actual wrestling sucked and everyone kept getting injured. I didn't even start watching wrestling until the early 2000s and even that stuff was trying to hard to be edgy. Live sex celebrations? Really?

20. Vince Russo and Bob Ryder. Just huge fans who lucked into jobs they both suck at. Bob Ryder may even comment on this telling me I'm a jackass because he doesn't do his actual job, just comments online

21. People who jump barriers to attack wrestlers. Again, you can't win the fight Steve.

22. People who think wrestlers will live their gimmicks off TV

23. Teenage girls who threaten to kill women based on who they're dating. Think I'm joking? Ask Renee Young

24. People who complain about the IWC not realizing they are the IWC. You're on the internet, you like wrestling. You're the IWC. Even I'm the IWC and I can't stand you people. Listen to Powerbomb Jutsu tho

25. People who need blood in everything

26. The people who keep telling everyone wrestling is fake but still watch in secret and make very current references

27.  People who ruin it for kids. Sit your old ass down. Everything is not for you. Kids love John Cena. You're still allowed to like Bray Wyatt. You don't have to bully kids until he starts crying and his parents take him home. That really happens.

28. CM Punk fans, he's gone let it go. When Bobby Lashley quit I got over it. He didn't wrestle for ten years. I didn't beg for him to come back every day and threaten to kill people who disagreed.

29. Dave Meltzer fans who complain about everyone else while threatening anyone who won't suck his dick.

30. Dave Meltzer he's a fan who lucked into his job and overestimates his importance

31. Hypebeasts - just like everywhere else

32. People who think they can run a wrestling business because they've watched for decades

33. People who still use wrestler's old names. We get it, Ron Killings, Kevin Steen, Bryan Danielson etc. Get over yourself

34. Puroboos. Like weeaboos but Japanese wrestling instead of anime.

35. It takes a lot of athleticism to be a wrestler and injuries are real and sometimes end careers. However it's not a real sport. It's more entertainment than sport. Don't treat it like a sport. WWE is not the NFL and TNA is not the CFL. There are no playoffs or free agency periods. Let it go man.

36. Only liking good guys or bad guys because things are black and white always

37. Speaking of black and white, I'll just drop the racists here

38. People who say no black wrestler has ever deserved to be WWE champion. Okay buddy. See #37

39. People who say the time has never been right for a black WWE champ. Okay buddy. See #37

40. Fan fiction

41. People who think PG Era killed wrestling

42. People who want legends to return. Most old wrestlers aren't in good shape. Everyone can't be sting. Someone has to be Undertaker. Yeah, I said it, he's in bad shape. Sit your old ass down, you have a wife and kids

43. Smarks - you know who you are

44. People too emotionally invested

45. People who are never emotionally invested. Taker's streak ending didn't shock you? Okay buddy. See #43

46. People who think a wrestler is buried any time they lose

47. People who blame Vince or Dixie for everything

48. People who hate celebrities for having the audacity to like wrestling. Trust me, Snoop doesn't want your sweaty stick sock money 

This list was much longer than I expected. Oh well I hate a lot of you. This isn't even the majority of wrestling fans. You're just the loudest. You're annoying. I want to ban you so everyone else can enjoy it.

You can hear Darrell on the CP Time and Powerbomb Jutsu podcasts. He also plays classic arcade games on The Cabinet
Follow @OriginalKingD