Update #1 Pre-Show
Well they said the pre-show would kick off at 7pm but they've just been playing the show's theme song on loop for the last 10 minutes. At first I thought it was catch but after hearing it so many times, I hate it. The song says "I'm never gonna love again" I'm never gonna play this song again. Why is there a techno break in the middle? Can you tell WWE is 15 minutes late to the pre-show yet?
Update #2 Pre-Show has finally begun at 7:30
Well the show has finally started. Josh Matthews is joined by Mick Foly, Booker T and Miz. Why isn't Miz vs Kofi on the card? They've been feuding all month. They show a graphic comparing Randy Orton's career to John Cena's. I never realized how similar they are. Cena has one Royal Rumble win more and 3 WWE titles more. But Orton is still the youngest WWE Champion in history. Other than those differences, they're exactly the same.
Miz plugs his feud with Kofi. I'm glad someone acknowledged it. The official hashtag of the night is #WWETLC . We're really getting a 15 minute match here folks. Keep in mind this show was supposed to start at 7pm. Here's a few people left off the card; The Usos, The Miz, Kofi Kingston every diva except AJ and Natalya, Wade Barret and many more.
Fandango is out to no response and cuts a promo about how Texans can't dance. Dolph Ziggler is out to a nice pop. The Arena is still have empty but it's good to see all these losses can't stop Dolph Ziggler. Dolph gets tossed to the outside and we go to commercial. Wait, we go to commercial? This is why I usually skip pre-shows. We come back & Fandago hits a suplex on Dolph. Both man are down. Dolph is up first and goes in with some clotheslines and elbows.
FAME ASSER out of nowhere and Cole actually name drops Billy Gunn. Kick out at two. Summer Rae distracts Dolph. Fandango slams him down and hits the top rope leg drop for the win. Wait. Is this over? That was a 6 minute match and two were commercials.
Update #3
We're back to Summer Rae reading tweets. This pre-show is horrible. Wait a limo has arrived. HHH, Stephanie and Vince McMahon. That 20 seconds was the best part of the pre-show.
Update #4 CM Punk vs The Shield
The show is now live and we get a nice little promo about the history of both championships. Fireworks go off and we get the intro of both commentary teams. CM Punk is out, his match with the Shield is up first. Was it Necessary that this be a handicap match? The Usos are still the most over tag team and they aren't even on the card.
Punk and Ambrose start out and have a few tie ups, Punk getting the better of Ambrose all three times. Ambrose tags in Rollins. Rollins rushes Punk and Punk slides out the ring. Rollins follows and Punk slides back in. Punk laughs in the corner. Rollins comes back in misses a clothesline. Punk with a few quick kicks. Tosses Rollins into the corner. A few elbows and a neckbreaker. Punk picks Rollins up and hits another neckbreaker. Quick pin and a 2 count.
Rollins slides over and tags in Reigns. Punk and Reigns brawl and Punk is getting the better until Reigns picks Punk up off his feet by the neck and slams him down. Reigns grounds and pounds Punk before Rollins tags himself in. Rollins repays Punk with a neckbreaker. Dean Ambrose tags in and yells at Punk. He drops an elbow and goes for a pin. 2 count. Ambrose with a few stomps. Ambrose picks up Punk & tosses him into the corner.
Reigns is back in and he doesn't bother taunting. He clotheslines Punk in the corner and pulls him out for another. He picks Punk up. Punk with a few more punches and kicks. Punk rebounds off the ropes and gets knocked down then thrown out the ring. Reigns follows out and lets out a primal yell. Reigns goes for a spear, Punk dodges and Roman flies over the announce table.
Doctors look at Reigns, he pushes them off and gets back in the ring. He tosses Punk back o the ring and tags in Rollins. A close up of Reigns eye shows that this isn't kayfabe. Reigns eye is bleeding and swollen shut, but he's still ignoring doctors and trying to finish the match.
Doctors finally get Reigns off the apron and look at his eye. Punk knocks Ambros off the Apron, hits Rollins with a few kicks, goes to the top rope. Cross body Anaconda vice. Ambrose comes back to break it up. He drags Rollins over and tags himself in. Ambrose sets Punk up for a top rope suplex. Punk headbutts him and drops the Macho Man Elbow. He knocks Rollins off the apron and pins Ambrose. 2 count. GTS attempt on Ambrose, Rollins breaks it up. Rollins gets the GTS. Punk goes for one on Ambrose. Rollins is back in the ring and goes for a spear. Punk sidesteps and Ambrose gets speared. Punk throws Reigns out and pins Ambrose for the win. Punk rushes to the stage to celebrate. Reigns stands in the ring, eye swollen shut standing over his fallen comrades and staring down Punk.
Winner: CM Punk
Backstage segment where AJ Lee calls the divas division a joke.
Natalya vs AJ Lee (Diva's Championship)
Natalya is out and mentions Natalya hasn't held the Diva's Championship since 2010 and that's also when her last title match was. That's disgusting. Natalya is not only one of the top divas but one of the top superstars overall.
The match starts with a test of strength. Natalya wins and locks AJ in an armbar before switching to a hip toss. AJ runs out and Natalya follows before running into Tamina. AJ comes from the other side to attack Natalya. Natalya side steps and tosses AJ in the barricade.
Back in the ring and AJ has managed to get Natalya in a headlock. AJ Lee with a back drop. 2 Count. AJ goes for the Black widow and Natalya powers her into the turnbuckle. AJ fights out and tosses Natalya in and goes for a splash. Natalya dodges and hits a body slam. She goes for the pin and AJ locks in the black widow. Natalya starts to get free and AJ rolls into a pin. Natalya rolls out at 2 and hits a drop kick.
Natalya hits a snap suplex, a body slam and the sharp shooter. AJ almost reaches the ropes and Natlaya pulls her back. Natalya distracted by Tamina. AJ with the black widow. Natalya breaks free again and hits another body slam. She goes for the sharpshter and AJ grabs a hand full of hair and goes into some weird kind of pin for 3.
Winner and still Champion AJ Lee
Damian Sandow cuts a promo on Texan dialect being poor as well as Big E. Langston. He proclaims that he will beat Big E. Langston. The crowd doesn't care. Big E. Langston comes out to a pop. Chalk is in the air and the title is on the line.
Big E. Langston vs Damian Sandow
Test of strength and Big E. tosses Sandow in the corner and beats him down with some clotheslines, tosses him to the other corner and another big clothesline. Big E. tosses him into the rope and hits a big back drop. Sandow rolls out the ring looking for a break. Big E. follows and Sandow tosses him into the ring post.Sandow tries really hard and gets Big E. back in the ring for a head lock.
Big E. tosses him off after a few moments and Sandow hits a clothesline of his own for a one count. Sandow hits the Elbow of Disdain for a 2 count and goes back to that headlock. Fans clap, Big E stands and tosses Sandow in the corner. Big E. hits a splash and goes for another. Sandow with a dropkick and 2 count.
Sandow tosses Big E. in the corner and goes with some not so scholarly punches. He hops on Big E's back and continues to pound. Big E. with an electric chair drop. He hops up and hits 2 clothes lines a body slam and a big splash. 2 count and Big E sets up the Big Ending. Sandow turns it into a face buster for two.
Sandow goes for you're welcome. Big E. breaks free and goes for the Big Ending. Sandow breaks free. Sandow goes for a few clotheslines. Big E ducks them all and retaliates with a huge one. He drops the straps and hits the Big ending. 1,2,3. You can count to 5 but it's over.
Winner and still champion Big E. Langston
They play some kind of horrible techno version of his theme as we go backstage to see Vince McMahon wish Rand bOrton luck.
We go back to the panel. They replay Kofi slapping Miz during the preshow and we're going to get a No DQ math between the two.
Tag Team Championship: Rhodes Family vs Real Americans vs Big Show and Rey Mysterio vs Rybaxel
Seriously why are Big Show & Rey in this match instead of The Usos? Ryback and Cody start. Ryback with a few punches and some moves to show his power. Cody drop kicks the knee taking him down. Cody tags Goldust. Goldie drops and elbow and the a Goldust chant breaks out. That's all he did and they went wild. He's clearly the only person in this match that's over. Ryback tags Axel Swagger tries to reach out and tag himself in.
Goldust tags in Big Show who hits Axel with a bunch of elbows to the jaw and then with a big slap across the chest. The crowd chants one more time and he does it again The crowd chants one more time and he tosses Axel into the corner. Rey reaches out for the tag. Big show says wait and hits one more slap across the chest and the crowd cheers. Now he tags Rey.
Axel drops Rey with a body slam and tags Ryback. Ryback ground and pound on Rey. Rybck tags Axel back in and Rey takes him out and. They're both down. JBL laughs because Swagger & Cesaro still haven't been in the match.
Rey tags Goldust, Axel tags Ryback. Goldust with that amazing uppercut. Goldust rushes Ryback and Ryback hits a side kick. He clearly heart himself because he instantly grabbed his back. Goldust with the rollup
Rybaxel Eliminated
Cesaro rushes in and isolates Goldust in the Real Americans corner. Cesaro gets the crowd to yell WE THE PEOPLE before tossing goldust outside. Swagger levels him and tosses him back in. Cesaro with a big fall away slam on Goldust. Let's not forget Goldust is a big man.
Goldust finally tries to fight out. He rolls up Swagger. Kick out at 2. Goldust goes for Cody and Swagger pulls him back. Swager tags Cesaro and it's a big swing. Cesaro goes for the pin Why? Cody breaks it up. Swagger tags in and hits the Swagger bomb. Cesaro tags while he's in the air and goes for the pin. 2 count. Cesaro goes for the neutralizer and Goldust hits a sunset flip. swagger rushes the ring and gets throw over the top rope. Goldust goes to tag Cody. Jack pulls Cody down. Big Show tosses Jack into the crowd. Cesaro goes at Goldust and gets taken down by a Hurricanrana... huh? Godust tags in Big Show. Big Show hits Swagger & Cesaro with K.O. punches.
Real Americans have been eliminated
Big Show helps Goldust to his to his feet in a show of sportsmanip. Don't Goldust with a headlock. Big Show knocks him out the ring with a shoulder block. Then pulls him back in with one hand. Goldust with that uppercut again and a cross body. Big Show tries to stand up and gets a DDT. Cody is back in the ring. Double suplex on Big Show. 2 count.
Cody goes for the disaster kicks and gets chokeslammed. Show tags Rey who comes in with a seated senton and a bunch of lucha moves I can't name. A bulldog and 2 count. Rhodes gets free and hits a disaster kick. Cody goes for cross rhodes. Rey sets Cody up for a 619. Goldust breaks it up and gets a 619. Big show pulls Goldust out and tosses him into the barricade. Cody to save Goldust and Big show tries to toss him into the post. Cody breaks free and pushes Show into it. Cody gets back in the ring and is set up for a 619. he blocks and goes for Cross Rhodes. rollup by rey 2 count Cross rhodes and another rollup up. Cross Rhodes for 3.
Winner and still champions Rhodes brothers.
backstage segment with the Prime Time Players selling Brawling buddies with Khali and Los Matadors. 2 teams wasted. They all play. Brad Madoxx and Vickie take the toys so they can play. Kanes theme hits and he's in the lockeroom. The party breaks up. He slams the Cena brawling buddy down and squeezes Brodus Clay to play his theme.
Is Kane into voodoo? Out come Brodus Clay, Swet T and Tensai to take on Xavier Woods and R Truth
Brodus Clay vs R-Truth
How is Brodus heel and Tensai face? Houston Texas is really excited for R-Truth. He's got the biggest pop of the night somehow. Yes, even bigger than CM Punk.
R-Truth punches Brodus to the corner Brodus gets free and Truth heads up top for a missile drop kick. Brodus rolls out wanting nothing to do with Ron Killings. R-Truth dives to the outside and fails to roll Brodus' body back in. Once in the ring Brodus takes control. Brodus drops Truth and hit a bonzai drop from the second rope for a 2 count. He hits a big senton and ignores Tensai's orders to pin him.
Brodus stands on Truths Chest and pounds him. Brodus picks him up and hits a T bone suplex. Then yells wassup and dances like Truth. brodus tosses Truth outside. He follows and tells Xavier he's next. He goes to attack Truth and Tensai steps in telling him to pin him. Brodus Tensai slaps Brodus and tells him to end it. Brodus hangs Truth in the corner and hits a splash.
Tensai on the apron telling him to just pin Truth. Brodus tells Tensai that Brodus is better and doesn't need him. So Tensai leaves. The funkadactyles follow Tensai and R Truth Rolls up Brodus for the win.
Winner R Truth
Vince is in back telling John Cena good luck. You traitor Vince.
Kofi Kingston vs The Miz (NO DQ)
Is Kofi heel now? He's been slappin Miz for no reason a lot lately, but the fans still cheer him. Kofi just beating the hell out of Miz. Miz tries to get out the ring but Kofi follows and throws more punches. Kofi is attempting to stomp Miz out. Kofi heads back in the ring and tries to jump through but Miz cathes him and slams his face on the apron.
Miz tries to pull himself together and Kofi tackles him into the barricade. Kofi goes for trouble in paradise against the steel post and Miz ducks. Kofi rolling in pain. Miz rolls him in the rin for a 2 count. Mz goes to work on Kofi's leg. Miz drags Kofi around by his hair then goes for a rollup. Are they both heels? Kofi kicks Miz in the chest but Miz goes back to work on the leg.
JBL is also confused about who the heel is in this match. Kofi tosses Miz out and limps after. Miz drops Kofi on the barricade crotch first. Yep they're both heels. Miz hits Kofi in the face with a knee and sets up for a Skull Crushing Finale. Kofi rolls him up for 2. Miz tosses Kofi to the corner and hits that awesome clothesline and goes up top. Kofi catches him midair with a dropkick and holds his leg.
Kofi goes for an SOS and misses. Kofi goes for Trouble in paradise. Misses. Miz goes for the Figure 4 and Kofi pushes him into an exposed turnbuckle. Rollup up 3 count.
Winner Kofi Kingston
Tribute To The Troops Promo
Daniel "Face Of The IWC" Bryan vs The Wyatt Family
Mover over R-Truth and CM Punk, Daniel Bryan now has the biggest pop of the night. Rowan with a ton of power moves, dominating DB early. Harper comes in and gets locked in a surfboard submission. This a 3 v1 match but Bray is just sitting in his rocking chair. Harper comes back with huge slap. Harper tags Rowan they choke DB in the corner with their feet. Rowan with two big body slams. Who does he think he is Ezekiel Jackson? Rowan with a bear hug and funny faces. Bryan breaks free and Rowan tosses him into the air and lets him fall on his face. 2 count. Rowan tags Harper.
Harper with the sitout slam. Cole says calls it a powerbowb. JBL Corrects him. King says "Those twitter followers will correct you" Bray Wyatt stands up, removes the hat and hawaiin shirt. Bray pounds DB in the corner. The ref starts to count and Bray tells him to "SHUT YO ASS UP" Bray and Roman Reigns must watch Mark Henry. Bray tosses Brayn across the ring and crab walks to a tag. harper with a gator roll. tag, Rowan with a fall away slam. tag Harper with a big splash. tag Bray tags in and preaches to Db about making the pan go away. That's really how it happened.
DB slaps away Bray's hand they brawl DB bounces off the ropes but Bray catches him with an elbow and calls him a foolish boy. He tags in Harper and tells him to finish it. Big powerbomb.2 count. Bray whispers to Harper. Harper goes for a big boot in the corner but gets hung up. DB knocks Rowan and bray off the apron. He likes Harper up with some kicks and hits the top rope headbutt. Rowan breaks up the count and catches some kicks too. DB ducks and Rowan & Harper go over the top. he takes out Bray in the ring. he dives out the ring and sends Harper over the table. Drop toe hold on Rowan into the steps.
Back in the ring he drop kicks Bray from the top and goes for the yes lock. Bray powers out and hits Sister Abigail for 3. Bray cuddles DB and strokes his hair as Harper and Rowan roll into the ring. I couldn't make this up. WWE has hired fan fiction writers for creative.
Winners Wyatt Family
The moment we've all waited for. The crowd is clearly behind John Cena. There's almost none of the boos that he usually receives. After his promo on Raw we all see that John Cena is what's best for business and us. We'll get the same old Randy bOrton vs the same competition but at least we'll see Super Cena take on challenger after challenger.
Cena with a side headlock into a back body drop. He ducks out the ring and grabs a table. Orton decks him, grabs a ladder and slide in. Already trying to climb it. Cena flies in, snatches Orton and smashes him with the ladder. Cena grabs a table from the outside and attempts to toss Orton through it but Orton slides out and grabs a chair. Orton swings wildly but Cena catches it. Orton with a kick to the gut and a chair shot against Cena's back. Cena rolls out the ring and Orton follows with more slow calculated chair shots. Cena leans against the ringpost to catch a breath and Orton tells Cena "You can't see me" before letting another chair shot go. Cena ducks and Orton hits the post & drops the chair. Cena picks it up and lets loose with consecutive shots. Cena sets a table up on the outside and goes for a powerbomb.
Orton slips free and tosses Cena into the barricade. Orton sets the ladder up in the ring. He climbs. He has one hand on the World heavyweight Championship. Cena yanks him down but Orton is back on the attack with fists and stomps. Lets Go Cena Chants erupt through the building. The Cena Sucks chants are there but you can barely here them. For the first time since 2008 this is a pro Cena crowd. Orton isn't phased and continues to stomp Cena.
Orton heads outside and slides the ladder back in. Cena slams the ladder into Orton's chest as he enters the ring again. Cena makes it up three ladder rungs before Orton hits a back drop. Orton stands and looks at the championships. But he closes the ladders and sets up to ram Cena with it. Cena ducks and Orton tosses the ladder out the ring. Orton is quicker and grabs a char. Orton with three quick chair shots to Cena. Orton wedges the chair in the corner. Cena with two shoulder tackles a spin out power bomb. He throws his hand in the air and Orton puts a thumb in his eye.
Orton slams Cena into the chair, retrieves a ladder and climbs Cena climbs and drops Orton. Cena reaches. The titles are out of reach so he hits a five knuckle shuffle. Orton is up and Cena decks him with the ladder. Knocking him out the ring and through a table.
Cena sets up the ladder and climbs. Hands on the championship belts. Orton pushes the ladder over and both men are down. Cena is up first then Orton and RKO out of nowhere. Both men are down, Orton is up and begins the climb but Cena is up and now it's just a fist fight. The two men brawl and fall out the ring. They brawl at ringside. Cena hits Orton in the head twice with the steel steps. Cena heads back in the ring but Orton hits him with a microphone.
Orton begins to pound him with the mic. Orton removes the cover from the Spanish Announce table and we see he's busted open the hard way. Orton ignores the table and goes for the punt. Cena dodges and hits an FU through the announce table.
Cena heads into the rings an begins to climb the ladder slowly. Cena has both belts. Orton pushes the ladder. Cena is hanging in the air by the championships. Orton hits Cena with a chair and he drops. Four more chair shots and Orton smiles confidently at the crowd. That confidence bites him in the ass and Cena spears him through a table. Both men are down and Orton falls out the ring. Orton pulls up the mat at ringside to reveal handcuffs. He cuffs Cena to the bottom rope. Orton gets in the ring and taunts Cena with the key. Orton tosses the key to the crowd. Cena tries to break the cuffs and Orton heads up the ramp for the biggest ladder on set. He rams Cena with it then sets it up in the ring.
Orton savors the moment and climbs. Cena has unscrewed the turnbuckle and us climbing still attached to the rope. Cena uses the turnbuckle to knock Orton down. Cena tries to remove the belt with one hand. Orton yanks Cena down with the ring rope and Cena hits a table headfirst. Orton climbs the ladder and stares down at Cena smiling. Orton removes the championship belts and a hush falls over the crowd. Cena is still knocked out and the fans are in shock as Super Cena lies on the ground. defeated.
Winner and NEW UNDISPUTED CHAMPION Randy Orton
Vince McMahon, Stephanie and HHH come out to congratulate Orton as Cena sits a ringside with his head down in shock. Not even Cena believes he lost.I'd like to add Orton is holding the WHC upside down. So disrespectful.
Well they said the pre-show would kick off at 7pm but they've just been playing the show's theme song on loop for the last 10 minutes. At first I thought it was catch but after hearing it so many times, I hate it. The song says "I'm never gonna love again" I'm never gonna play this song again. Why is there a techno break in the middle? Can you tell WWE is 15 minutes late to the pre-show yet?
Update #2 Pre-Show has finally begun at 7:30
Well the show has finally started. Josh Matthews is joined by Mick Foly, Booker T and Miz. Why isn't Miz vs Kofi on the card? They've been feuding all month. They show a graphic comparing Randy Orton's career to John Cena's. I never realized how similar they are. Cena has one Royal Rumble win more and 3 WWE titles more. But Orton is still the youngest WWE Champion in history. Other than those differences, they're exactly the same.
Miz plugs his feud with Kofi. I'm glad someone acknowledged it. The official hashtag of the night is #WWETLC . We're really getting a 15 minute match here folks. Keep in mind this show was supposed to start at 7pm. Here's a few people left off the card; The Usos, The Miz, Kofi Kingston every diva except AJ and Natalya, Wade Barret and many more.
Fandango is out to no response and cuts a promo about how Texans can't dance. Dolph Ziggler is out to a nice pop. The Arena is still have empty but it's good to see all these losses can't stop Dolph Ziggler. Dolph gets tossed to the outside and we go to commercial. Wait, we go to commercial? This is why I usually skip pre-shows. We come back & Fandago hits a suplex on Dolph. Both man are down. Dolph is up first and goes in with some clotheslines and elbows.
FAME ASSER out of nowhere and Cole actually name drops Billy Gunn. Kick out at two. Summer Rae distracts Dolph. Fandango slams him down and hits the top rope leg drop for the win. Wait. Is this over? That was a 6 minute match and two were commercials.
Update #3
We're back to Summer Rae reading tweets. This pre-show is horrible. Wait a limo has arrived. HHH, Stephanie and Vince McMahon. That 20 seconds was the best part of the pre-show.
Update #4 CM Punk vs The Shield
The show is now live and we get a nice little promo about the history of both championships. Fireworks go off and we get the intro of both commentary teams. CM Punk is out, his match with the Shield is up first. Was it Necessary that this be a handicap match? The Usos are still the most over tag team and they aren't even on the card.
Punk and Ambrose start out and have a few tie ups, Punk getting the better of Ambrose all three times. Ambrose tags in Rollins. Rollins rushes Punk and Punk slides out the ring. Rollins follows and Punk slides back in. Punk laughs in the corner. Rollins comes back in misses a clothesline. Punk with a few quick kicks. Tosses Rollins into the corner. A few elbows and a neckbreaker. Punk picks Rollins up and hits another neckbreaker. Quick pin and a 2 count.
Rollins slides over and tags in Reigns. Punk and Reigns brawl and Punk is getting the better until Reigns picks Punk up off his feet by the neck and slams him down. Reigns grounds and pounds Punk before Rollins tags himself in. Rollins repays Punk with a neckbreaker. Dean Ambrose tags in and yells at Punk. He drops an elbow and goes for a pin. 2 count. Ambrose with a few stomps. Ambrose picks up Punk & tosses him into the corner.
Reigns is back in and he doesn't bother taunting. He clotheslines Punk in the corner and pulls him out for another. He picks Punk up. Punk with a few more punches and kicks. Punk rebounds off the ropes and gets knocked down then thrown out the ring. Reigns follows out and lets out a primal yell. Reigns goes for a spear, Punk dodges and Roman flies over the announce table.
Doctors look at Reigns, he pushes them off and gets back in the ring. He tosses Punk back o the ring and tags in Rollins. A close up of Reigns eye shows that this isn't kayfabe. Reigns eye is bleeding and swollen shut, but he's still ignoring doctors and trying to finish the match.
Doctors finally get Reigns off the apron and look at his eye. Punk knocks Ambros off the Apron, hits Rollins with a few kicks, goes to the top rope. Cross body Anaconda vice. Ambrose comes back to break it up. He drags Rollins over and tags himself in. Ambrose sets Punk up for a top rope suplex. Punk headbutts him and drops the Macho Man Elbow. He knocks Rollins off the apron and pins Ambrose. 2 count. GTS attempt on Ambrose, Rollins breaks it up. Rollins gets the GTS. Punk goes for one on Ambrose. Rollins is back in the ring and goes for a spear. Punk sidesteps and Ambrose gets speared. Punk throws Reigns out and pins Ambrose for the win. Punk rushes to the stage to celebrate. Reigns stands in the ring, eye swollen shut standing over his fallen comrades and staring down Punk.
Winner: CM Punk
Backstage segment where AJ Lee calls the divas division a joke.
Natalya vs AJ Lee (Diva's Championship)
Natalya is out and mentions Natalya hasn't held the Diva's Championship since 2010 and that's also when her last title match was. That's disgusting. Natalya is not only one of the top divas but one of the top superstars overall.
The match starts with a test of strength. Natalya wins and locks AJ in an armbar before switching to a hip toss. AJ runs out and Natalya follows before running into Tamina. AJ comes from the other side to attack Natalya. Natalya side steps and tosses AJ in the barricade.
Back in the ring and AJ has managed to get Natalya in a headlock. AJ Lee with a back drop. 2 Count. AJ goes for the Black widow and Natalya powers her into the turnbuckle. AJ fights out and tosses Natalya in and goes for a splash. Natalya dodges and hits a body slam. She goes for the pin and AJ locks in the black widow. Natalya starts to get free and AJ rolls into a pin. Natalya rolls out at 2 and hits a drop kick.
Natalya hits a snap suplex, a body slam and the sharp shooter. AJ almost reaches the ropes and Natlaya pulls her back. Natalya distracted by Tamina. AJ with the black widow. Natalya breaks free again and hits another body slam. She goes for the sharpshter and AJ grabs a hand full of hair and goes into some weird kind of pin for 3.
Winner and still Champion AJ Lee
Damian Sandow cuts a promo on Texan dialect being poor as well as Big E. Langston. He proclaims that he will beat Big E. Langston. The crowd doesn't care. Big E. Langston comes out to a pop. Chalk is in the air and the title is on the line.
Big E. Langston vs Damian Sandow
Test of strength and Big E. tosses Sandow in the corner and beats him down with some clotheslines, tosses him to the other corner and another big clothesline. Big E. tosses him into the rope and hits a big back drop. Sandow rolls out the ring looking for a break. Big E. follows and Sandow tosses him into the ring post.Sandow tries really hard and gets Big E. back in the ring for a head lock.
Big E. tosses him off after a few moments and Sandow hits a clothesline of his own for a one count. Sandow hits the Elbow of Disdain for a 2 count and goes back to that headlock. Fans clap, Big E stands and tosses Sandow in the corner. Big E. hits a splash and goes for another. Sandow with a dropkick and 2 count.
Sandow tosses Big E. in the corner and goes with some not so scholarly punches. He hops on Big E's back and continues to pound. Big E. with an electric chair drop. He hops up and hits 2 clothes lines a body slam and a big splash. 2 count and Big E sets up the Big Ending. Sandow turns it into a face buster for two.
Sandow goes for you're welcome. Big E. breaks free and goes for the Big Ending. Sandow breaks free. Sandow goes for a few clotheslines. Big E ducks them all and retaliates with a huge one. He drops the straps and hits the Big ending. 1,2,3. You can count to 5 but it's over.
Winner and still champion Big E. Langston
They play some kind of horrible techno version of his theme as we go backstage to see Vince McMahon wish Rand bOrton luck.
We go back to the panel. They replay Kofi slapping Miz during the preshow and we're going to get a No DQ math between the two.
Tag Team Championship: Rhodes Family vs Real Americans vs Big Show and Rey Mysterio vs Rybaxel
Seriously why are Big Show & Rey in this match instead of The Usos? Ryback and Cody start. Ryback with a few punches and some moves to show his power. Cody drop kicks the knee taking him down. Cody tags Goldust. Goldie drops and elbow and the a Goldust chant breaks out. That's all he did and they went wild. He's clearly the only person in this match that's over. Ryback tags Axel Swagger tries to reach out and tag himself in.
Goldust tags in Big Show who hits Axel with a bunch of elbows to the jaw and then with a big slap across the chest. The crowd chants one more time and he does it again The crowd chants one more time and he tosses Axel into the corner. Rey reaches out for the tag. Big show says wait and hits one more slap across the chest and the crowd cheers. Now he tags Rey.
Axel drops Rey with a body slam and tags Ryback. Ryback ground and pound on Rey. Rybck tags Axel back in and Rey takes him out and. They're both down. JBL laughs because Swagger & Cesaro still haven't been in the match.
Rey tags Goldust, Axel tags Ryback. Goldust with that amazing uppercut. Goldust rushes Ryback and Ryback hits a side kick. He clearly heart himself because he instantly grabbed his back. Goldust with the rollup
Rybaxel Eliminated
Cesaro rushes in and isolates Goldust in the Real Americans corner. Cesaro gets the crowd to yell WE THE PEOPLE before tossing goldust outside. Swagger levels him and tosses him back in. Cesaro with a big fall away slam on Goldust. Let's not forget Goldust is a big man.
Goldust finally tries to fight out. He rolls up Swagger. Kick out at 2. Goldust goes for Cody and Swagger pulls him back. Swager tags Cesaro and it's a big swing. Cesaro goes for the pin Why? Cody breaks it up. Swagger tags in and hits the Swagger bomb. Cesaro tags while he's in the air and goes for the pin. 2 count. Cesaro goes for the neutralizer and Goldust hits a sunset flip. swagger rushes the ring and gets throw over the top rope. Goldust goes to tag Cody. Jack pulls Cody down. Big Show tosses Jack into the crowd. Cesaro goes at Goldust and gets taken down by a Hurricanrana... huh? Godust tags in Big Show. Big Show hits Swagger & Cesaro with K.O. punches.
Real Americans have been eliminated
Big Show helps Goldust to his to his feet in a show of sportsmanip. Don't Goldust with a headlock. Big Show knocks him out the ring with a shoulder block. Then pulls him back in with one hand. Goldust with that uppercut again and a cross body. Big Show tries to stand up and gets a DDT. Cody is back in the ring. Double suplex on Big Show. 2 count.
Cody goes for the disaster kicks and gets chokeslammed. Show tags Rey who comes in with a seated senton and a bunch of lucha moves I can't name. A bulldog and 2 count. Rhodes gets free and hits a disaster kick. Cody goes for cross rhodes. Rey sets Cody up for a 619. Goldust breaks it up and gets a 619. Big show pulls Goldust out and tosses him into the barricade. Cody to save Goldust and Big show tries to toss him into the post. Cody breaks free and pushes Show into it. Cody gets back in the ring and is set up for a 619. he blocks and goes for Cross Rhodes. rollup by rey 2 count Cross rhodes and another rollup up. Cross Rhodes for 3.
Winner and still champions Rhodes brothers.
backstage segment with the Prime Time Players selling Brawling buddies with Khali and Los Matadors. 2 teams wasted. They all play. Brad Madoxx and Vickie take the toys so they can play. Kanes theme hits and he's in the lockeroom. The party breaks up. He slams the Cena brawling buddy down and squeezes Brodus Clay to play his theme.
Is Kane into voodoo? Out come Brodus Clay, Swet T and Tensai to take on Xavier Woods and R Truth
Brodus Clay vs R-Truth
How is Brodus heel and Tensai face? Houston Texas is really excited for R-Truth. He's got the biggest pop of the night somehow. Yes, even bigger than CM Punk.
R-Truth punches Brodus to the corner Brodus gets free and Truth heads up top for a missile drop kick. Brodus rolls out wanting nothing to do with Ron Killings. R-Truth dives to the outside and fails to roll Brodus' body back in. Once in the ring Brodus takes control. Brodus drops Truth and hit a bonzai drop from the second rope for a 2 count. He hits a big senton and ignores Tensai's orders to pin him.
Brodus stands on Truths Chest and pounds him. Brodus picks him up and hits a T bone suplex. Then yells wassup and dances like Truth. brodus tosses Truth outside. He follows and tells Xavier he's next. He goes to attack Truth and Tensai steps in telling him to pin him. Brodus Tensai slaps Brodus and tells him to end it. Brodus hangs Truth in the corner and hits a splash.
Tensai on the apron telling him to just pin Truth. Brodus tells Tensai that Brodus is better and doesn't need him. So Tensai leaves. The funkadactyles follow Tensai and R Truth Rolls up Brodus for the win.
Winner R Truth
Vince is in back telling John Cena good luck. You traitor Vince.
Kofi Kingston vs The Miz (NO DQ)
Is Kofi heel now? He's been slappin Miz for no reason a lot lately, but the fans still cheer him. Kofi just beating the hell out of Miz. Miz tries to get out the ring but Kofi follows and throws more punches. Kofi is attempting to stomp Miz out. Kofi heads back in the ring and tries to jump through but Miz cathes him and slams his face on the apron.
Miz tries to pull himself together and Kofi tackles him into the barricade. Kofi goes for trouble in paradise against the steel post and Miz ducks. Kofi rolling in pain. Miz rolls him in the rin for a 2 count. Mz goes to work on Kofi's leg. Miz drags Kofi around by his hair then goes for a rollup. Are they both heels? Kofi kicks Miz in the chest but Miz goes back to work on the leg.
JBL is also confused about who the heel is in this match. Kofi tosses Miz out and limps after. Miz drops Kofi on the barricade crotch first. Yep they're both heels. Miz hits Kofi in the face with a knee and sets up for a Skull Crushing Finale. Kofi rolls him up for 2. Miz tosses Kofi to the corner and hits that awesome clothesline and goes up top. Kofi catches him midair with a dropkick and holds his leg.
Kofi goes for an SOS and misses. Kofi goes for Trouble in paradise. Misses. Miz goes for the Figure 4 and Kofi pushes him into an exposed turnbuckle. Rollup up 3 count.
Winner Kofi Kingston
Tribute To The Troops Promo
Daniel "Face Of The IWC" Bryan vs The Wyatt Family
Mover over R-Truth and CM Punk, Daniel Bryan now has the biggest pop of the night. Rowan with a ton of power moves, dominating DB early. Harper comes in and gets locked in a surfboard submission. This a 3 v1 match but Bray is just sitting in his rocking chair. Harper comes back with huge slap. Harper tags Rowan they choke DB in the corner with their feet. Rowan with two big body slams. Who does he think he is Ezekiel Jackson? Rowan with a bear hug and funny faces. Bryan breaks free and Rowan tosses him into the air and lets him fall on his face. 2 count. Rowan tags Harper.
Harper with the sitout slam. Cole says calls it a powerbowb. JBL Corrects him. King says "Those twitter followers will correct you" Bray Wyatt stands up, removes the hat and hawaiin shirt. Bray pounds DB in the corner. The ref starts to count and Bray tells him to "SHUT YO ASS UP" Bray and Roman Reigns must watch Mark Henry. Bray tosses Brayn across the ring and crab walks to a tag. harper with a gator roll. tag, Rowan with a fall away slam. tag Harper with a big splash. tag Bray tags in and preaches to Db about making the pan go away. That's really how it happened.
DB slaps away Bray's hand they brawl DB bounces off the ropes but Bray catches him with an elbow and calls him a foolish boy. He tags in Harper and tells him to finish it. Big powerbomb.2 count. Bray whispers to Harper. Harper goes for a big boot in the corner but gets hung up. DB knocks Rowan and bray off the apron. He likes Harper up with some kicks and hits the top rope headbutt. Rowan breaks up the count and catches some kicks too. DB ducks and Rowan & Harper go over the top. he takes out Bray in the ring. he dives out the ring and sends Harper over the table. Drop toe hold on Rowan into the steps.
Back in the ring he drop kicks Bray from the top and goes for the yes lock. Bray powers out and hits Sister Abigail for 3. Bray cuddles DB and strokes his hair as Harper and Rowan roll into the ring. I couldn't make this up. WWE has hired fan fiction writers for creative.
Winners Wyatt Family
The moment we've all waited for. The crowd is clearly behind John Cena. There's almost none of the boos that he usually receives. After his promo on Raw we all see that John Cena is what's best for business and us. We'll get the same old Randy bOrton vs the same competition but at least we'll see Super Cena take on challenger after challenger.
Cena with a side headlock into a back body drop. He ducks out the ring and grabs a table. Orton decks him, grabs a ladder and slide in. Already trying to climb it. Cena flies in, snatches Orton and smashes him with the ladder. Cena grabs a table from the outside and attempts to toss Orton through it but Orton slides out and grabs a chair. Orton swings wildly but Cena catches it. Orton with a kick to the gut and a chair shot against Cena's back. Cena rolls out the ring and Orton follows with more slow calculated chair shots. Cena leans against the ringpost to catch a breath and Orton tells Cena "You can't see me" before letting another chair shot go. Cena ducks and Orton hits the post & drops the chair. Cena picks it up and lets loose with consecutive shots. Cena sets a table up on the outside and goes for a powerbomb.
Orton slips free and tosses Cena into the barricade. Orton sets the ladder up in the ring. He climbs. He has one hand on the World heavyweight Championship. Cena yanks him down but Orton is back on the attack with fists and stomps. Lets Go Cena Chants erupt through the building. The Cena Sucks chants are there but you can barely here them. For the first time since 2008 this is a pro Cena crowd. Orton isn't phased and continues to stomp Cena.
Orton heads outside and slides the ladder back in. Cena slams the ladder into Orton's chest as he enters the ring again. Cena makes it up three ladder rungs before Orton hits a back drop. Orton stands and looks at the championships. But he closes the ladders and sets up to ram Cena with it. Cena ducks and Orton tosses the ladder out the ring. Orton is quicker and grabs a char. Orton with three quick chair shots to Cena. Orton wedges the chair in the corner. Cena with two shoulder tackles a spin out power bomb. He throws his hand in the air and Orton puts a thumb in his eye.
Orton slams Cena into the chair, retrieves a ladder and climbs Cena climbs and drops Orton. Cena reaches. The titles are out of reach so he hits a five knuckle shuffle. Orton is up and Cena decks him with the ladder. Knocking him out the ring and through a table.
Cena sets up the ladder and climbs. Hands on the championship belts. Orton pushes the ladder over and both men are down. Cena is up first then Orton and RKO out of nowhere. Both men are down, Orton is up and begins the climb but Cena is up and now it's just a fist fight. The two men brawl and fall out the ring. They brawl at ringside. Cena hits Orton in the head twice with the steel steps. Cena heads back in the ring but Orton hits him with a microphone.
Orton begins to pound him with the mic. Orton removes the cover from the Spanish Announce table and we see he's busted open the hard way. Orton ignores the table and goes for the punt. Cena dodges and hits an FU through the announce table.
Cena heads into the rings an begins to climb the ladder slowly. Cena has both belts. Orton pushes the ladder. Cena is hanging in the air by the championships. Orton hits Cena with a chair and he drops. Four more chair shots and Orton smiles confidently at the crowd. That confidence bites him in the ass and Cena spears him through a table. Both men are down and Orton falls out the ring. Orton pulls up the mat at ringside to reveal handcuffs. He cuffs Cena to the bottom rope. Orton gets in the ring and taunts Cena with the key. Orton tosses the key to the crowd. Cena tries to break the cuffs and Orton heads up the ramp for the biggest ladder on set. He rams Cena with it then sets it up in the ring.
Orton savors the moment and climbs. Cena has unscrewed the turnbuckle and us climbing still attached to the rope. Cena uses the turnbuckle to knock Orton down. Cena tries to remove the belt with one hand. Orton yanks Cena down with the ring rope and Cena hits a table headfirst. Orton climbs the ladder and stares down at Cena smiling. Orton removes the championship belts and a hush falls over the crowd. Cena is still knocked out and the fans are in shock as Super Cena lies on the ground. defeated.
Winner and NEW UNDISPUTED CHAMPION Randy Orton
Vince McMahon, Stephanie and HHH come out to congratulate Orton as Cena sits a ringside with his head down in shock. Not even Cena believes he lost.I'd like to add Orton is holding the WHC upside down. So disrespectful.
