Robin is Trash

Usually I pick one character and give you 20 reasons why they're trash. I'm not going to do that. instead I've got 4 characters and I'm going to give you reasons why they're all trash. Batman has no problem forcing teenagers into dangerous crime fighting and acrobatics over the city. While he's has plenty of others the one usually by his side is Robin, the boy wonder. The first was Dick Grayson son of the acrobatic duo The Flying Graysons. When Dick felt he was too old, he moved on and went solo.

The second was Jason Todd a troubled kid born to a drug addict and career criminal. He became Robin after several run ins with Batman. When Jason died he came back as The Red Hood seeking Vengeance but he's mostly over it now. The third was Tim Drake who became Robin after figuring out Batman and Robin's true identities. When he felt that he wasn't respected as much as Dick and Jason he quit to become the Red Robin. Lastly is Damian Wayne, son of Batman and Talia Al Ghul conceived after Talia drugged and raped Bruce (don't try to make it a love story, that's what it was). When he became too much for Talia she showed up with Damian to surprise Bruce and Damian became Robin after Bruce "died" and Dick filled in for Batman. He's since remained Robin. I didn't include Stephanie or Carrie because they were too trash to be mentioned. Anyway, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake and Damian Wayne are all Robin and they're all trash.

Dick Grayson
  1. He's a slut. That's right, I'm slut shaming Dick Grayson. It seems like 93.787% of his story arcs are solved by him sleeping with the villain or a woman close to the villain. His most dangerous weapon is somehow his Dick, pun intended. I'm pretty sure the Nightwing suit comes with condoms.
  2. He's the dumbest Robin. I first took notice during Batwing. He was shocked that David could not only modify Lucius Fox tech but build his own with limited resources. Then I notice, he's just dumb. Jason is an expert when it comes to weapons and vehicles. Tim is a great detective and hacker. Damian is a walking history book and strategist. Dick is just dumb.
  3. He almost got Damian killed. Battle For The Cowl featured Jason, Tim and eventually Dick fighting to be Batman after Bruce "died." Dick brought Damian to a fight with a Jason. Damian rushed Jason and Jason shot him before realizing it was a kid.
  4. When Jason was chose as the successor to Dick he didn't get any help from Dick because Dick was upset that Batman had replaced him. Dick gives a lot of advice to Tim and Damian during their time as Robin to make sure they don't get killed. Yeah, he didn't give any of that advice to Jason. Refusing to work with him or acknowledge him as Robin. That's why Dick cares so much about Tim and Damian because he doesn't want to fail them like he did Jason. Then he goes around telling people Jason is just crazy and acts like he doesn't understand why Jason dislikes him. Until someone like Barbara Gordon brings up that Jason was a jerk but Dick basically ignored his existence on of spite when Jason initially did nothing wrong to Dick besides make fun of the name Dick. Which brings us to the next point.
  5. His name is Richard but instead of going by something like Rich, Richie, or even Ric. He goes by Dick. He's not the only person in the world who does it, but it's just stupid and trash for them too.
Jason Todd
  1. Jason died trying to save his mom from the Joker. He came back wanting revenge on the Joker and Batman for not killing Joker. Batman refused to kill Joker and Jason needs to get over that shit. You either kill Joker yourself or stop telling Batman to do it. You've had 20 years and it's not even about Joker anymore. Jason's beaten Joker solo and didn't kill him because he wanted Bruce to do it. Kill him or stop bringing it up. You've proven countless times you're able to do it. 
  2. Purely superficial, but Jason has had some of the stupidest costumes out of everyone. There's the hoodie. The helmet with a mouth. The masked biker. The "superhero" costume. Adult Robin. Wingman, and yes his trusty sidekick Red Wing (it's Damian). The point is, Jason doesn't know how to dress himself.
  3. He's a jerk, because he's socially awkward. Let's count all of Jason's friends: Roy Harper, a recovering alcoholic Jason considers his best friend and only sidekick worse than him. Starfire, who was pretending to have amnesia and kept Jason around initially because she knew Dick wouldn't come around if Jason was there. Simon Amal, socially awkward scientist who injected himself with alien DNA, now they're friends because Jason got him help with his mental illness. Jason considers Tim a brother but if you want to put him here fine, Tim is also socially awkward which leads to him trying to impress people but it comes off as arrogance.
  4. Everyone knows Jason is the best fighter. He's been trained by the streets, by Batman, The League of Assassins, The All Caste. The problem is sometimes Jason gets so mad that he forgets his training and just goes into "does Wayne Brady have to choke a bitch" mode. He also likes to taunt opponents. These two things can often lead to him losing fights he should have easily won. Batman has been telling him this shit.
  5. Jason has horrible villains. Yes, Dakar and The Untitled were great. But Jason's main recurring villain is an extreamly large woman named Suzie Su who goes back and forth between threatening to murder Jason, offering him sex or threatening to rape, then murder him.
Tim Drake
  1. Tim is kind of a dick to people he saves and everyone really. Dick cares about everyone and tries to save everyone. Jason tries to save everyone but only cares about people he can relate to in some way. Damian tries to save everyone and pretend he doesn't have any emotion but we know he's soft. Tim is just a dick. He doesn't care about anyone's emotions and can not relate to anyone on any emotional level. He looks at emotions like computer data or something. They just don't compute.
  2. When Stephanie Brown was pregnant, Tim asked Dick if he should help raise the baby. Dick said it was a big responsibility he had to decide for himself. What did Tim decide? He asked Stephanie to get an abortion. Also he thought he was being nice about it. "How pregnant are you," is not a nice way to ask "Can we still get this abortion before it's too late"
  3. Tim is the most arrogant out of any of the Robins. He see's himself as the only one who has made no mistakes. He never let a villain seduce him like Dick, he's never died or killed anyone like Jason and Damian. Dick doesn't argue about who is the best Robin because he sees everyone as best in different areas. Jason doesn't argue because he sees the failures they've all had. Damian says he's the best Robin but keeps a shrine to the other Robins and once when Batman was mad at Jason, Damian did this rant about how Bruce doesn't respect someone who died fighting for Bruce's cause. But Tim, Tim truly believes he is the best Robin and he always has to remind them. 
  4. Batgirl is a detective, Tim is a detective. Batgirl is a hacker, Tim is a hacker. Batgirl has Birds of Prey, Tim has Teen Titans. Tim wants to be Batgirl so bad but he doesn't have any of the interesting background she does.
  5. Tim is boring. Seriously. Get a hobby or something.
 Damian
  1. Tries to act tough, but secretly keeps shrines to other Robins. Goes as far as stating he hates Jason but cries when Bruce almost got Jason killed by giving him a helmet booby trapped by Joker. Not actually sure if he likes Tim. He does really care about Dick, Bruce, Alfred, Jason, his petting zoo, Nobody II  and a whole heap of other people. Just not Tim. But, Tim is an ass.
  2. Before he died he was basically a modernized version of Jason. Jason killed villains during his time as Robin. Damian killed Nobody. Batman put Jason on suspension. Batman but Damian on suspension. Jason died due to his mother. Damian died to his mother.
  3. He's arrogant. It constantly lets him get beaten badly. Stop being so arrogant. You're the ultimate member of The League of Assassins and that didn't prepare you for every situation. 
  4. He's an asshole. He's a kid who basically expects everyone to treat him like royalty. He may be royalty to the Al Ghul family but to everyone else he's just a kid. America doesn't have royalty it means nothing and you'd think he'd understand it by now.
  5. Duke Thomas from We Are Robin and Carrie his theater tutor are his only friends after the culmination of Robin War
You can hear Darrell on the CP Time and Powerbomb Jutsu podcasts. He also plays classic arcade games on The Cabinet

Robin is Trash Robin is Trash Reviewed by Darrell S. on Monday, March 14, 2016 Rating: 5

9 comments:

  1. This damn near killed me. Please tell me Jason didn't fuck that fat dude.

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    1. No, Jason didn't sleep with her. But she keeps trying.

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  2. I don't think being socially awkward makes you lame, maybe I read that wrong but if I read that line right, I don't believe in the statement you made. I probably missed the context of what you meant. Not even sounding smart but (this goes for me as well, shit double for me since I'm saying this) re read/check your articles. You and YMH are good writers but those grammar issues really take away from the article. I fuck with you guys and I only say it out of love. Good article though.

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    1. Being socially awkward doesn't make him lame. He's lame for being a jerk. He actively decides to be a jerk because he can't just accept a compliment or invite to the movies. Being socially awkward doesn't make you lame either Taiwan, wearing Trukfit does.

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    2. The man makes the clothes not the clothes that make the man. Never forget.

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  3. Robin is a beloved, iconic character. I think we love him more for his potential than for his accomplishments...unless we're talking Teen Titans/Young Justice

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    1. Nah, we just love them because nobody really likes Batman.

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  4. I ALWAYS look forward to these.
    Another great entry in the "Is Lame" Saga.

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  5. what about Stephenie Brown. I thought she was cool

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