Cities Skylines is Trash

Cities Skylines the city planning simulator to end all others. The indie game that has now sold millions and continues to sell more while pumping out new DLCs. Thousands, maybe millions of hours spent by players on PCs and consoles. Even with all that, it's trash. Just a trash game.

1. What kind of name is that? Cities Skylines. Makes no sense.

2. Years without a well built city simulator and you just assume that's what people want? Selling millions of copies as if people were begging.

3. Those DLCs look Mas chaotic. I mean, you're just adding stuff players asked for. How else would we end up with trams in Snowfall?

4. I bet you all think those radio stations are just so calming. Don't get smug just because they are. 

5. This game ruins relationships. A woman went to Reddit to complain that her boyfriend had replaced her with the game. That's nothing to be proud of.

6. Embracing modders and allowing them to build DLCs then calling them "Content Creator Packs," you're supposed to shame them and destroy their ability to mod. What is this friendly collaboration?

7. Virtual crack. That's what you've made. Do you know how much time I've spent on this game?

8. Do you know how many chapters of Exsanguinate and Intercosmic were posted late because I couldn't pull myself away from the game? I don't know. 

9. Providing support, patches and DLC for a game that's close to a decade old. We're just supposed to clap that you haven't beaten us over the head with yearly releases or continued to promote the game as if you didn't stop support of it over a year ago like Ubisoft did with Watch Dogs Legion? You win this round.

10. Chirper > Twitter. You're supposed to make a game, not a better social media site. 

11. So that sequel is just never coming?

12. Challenges, who are you challenging? Me? Imagine spending hours on this game, then learning there are actual goals to be had. Couldn't be me.

13. Scenarios, you think you can stop me? Me clearing it, how's that for a scenario?

14. Selling DLC in value packs, is just evil. Why? You want people to get hooked with 4 DLCs for the price of 2? No, that's evil. Just tricking people into playing more.

15. I know what I'm doing when I load this game up for 20 minutes knowing it'll be three weeks. I know what I'm doing, but can't stop. I don't even care that I'm doing it.

You can check out some of my short stories at 12 AM Fiction or if you like vampires follow my web serial Exsanguinate and of course hear me on the Powerbomb Jutsu podcast if you enjoy pro wrestling.
Cities Skylines is Trash Cities Skylines is Trash Reviewed by Darrell S. on Monday, December 19, 2022 Rating: 5

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