By: E. Young
BrightNightmares.weebly.com
You ever watch a show and just think out loud, “Did he just hump the map and erotically kiss a doll?” Yeah.
It’s no secret that Lucha Underground owes a debt to ECW in front of and behind the scenes, and that the show is pre-taped well in advance… but I feel like someone heard me say, “wow, Marty is giving me Raven vibes” and responded back with: “oh yeah?!”
But I’m getting ahead of myself! In fact, this whole episode was a little heavy on the Philadelphia influence, starting with Taya miraculously returning from injury! She pops off mightily on Cueto and his corporeal husk of a son Matanza for ruining her wedding, not to mention killing one of the groomsmen (#justiceforjoey). In a twist, she demands a rematch with the Monster himself! In another twist, Antonio deems it a Sacrifice match! No, god, no!
But against all hope, Taya lives up to her moniker of La Wera Loca (la güera loca, or “crazy blonde chick”) and actually starts beating that man’s ass. Say what? That’s why I want Taya in all my fights. She even gets a pin attempt. Does she win? No. Does she go down swinging? Hell yes. That’s all I can ask for. Goddamn you, Antonio!
Wait! Johnny Mundo runs in for the save! Thank you Aztec gods!
Taya and Johnny escape though I’m sure this is far from over. We proceed to our next event, the bizarre tag match consisting of Mil & Fenix versus Dragon Azteca and Mack. These guys have little to nothing in common besides hating Mil Muertes and… maybe being possessed? Needing a bigger push? The real story here is Mack and Mil’s upcoming death match and Dragon Azteca’s beef with Evil Fenix. And the Cuetos love (re)-killing one bird with one stone.
Of everyone, this match gives Dragon Azteca to show off in the best ways. He cuts the hell up with the high spots. I’m generally impressed with Dragon Azteca but he gets his biggest moments when he has a lot on the line or is looking for retribution in that classic underdog/babyface style. It’s no wonder the Temple treats him like the next coming of his mentor, Rey Mysterio. Now if they would just BOOK him as such…
Mack is prepared for Mil but not very prepared for Fenix, and certainly not prepared for the both of them. Another interesting story here is Fenix and Mil, former enemies, working in perfect tandem. My theory here is: A) who knows you better than the man that hates your guts and has killed you twice; and B) they have a lot in common right now. Lovers of Catrina, both spurned by their respective loved ones and lost after Catrina’s apparent death. Are Mil and Fenix going to become bros now? Doubt it, but for the time being they make an interesting team.
The other thing here is the fact that Mack and Dragon Azteca have very different goals that don’t quite mesh up, and that proves to be their downfall and they get slammed through the mat and straight to hell by Fenix and Mil. Just nasty looking. This doesn’t look too good for Mack’s chances against Mil at Ultima Lucha, but of course a death match is a lot different than your standard not-dying matches.
Special shout out for the audience being live as hell tonight. The temple believers are already pretty special, but this must have been the last taping in a row because these people are not holding back.
The next segment is my MVP of the year: Famous B is back! And he’s feeling better and suddenly more aware of his mortality than ever, so he’s signing a new client: himself! If you never knew or forgot, Famous B actually wrestled on Lucha Underground before having his arm broken TWICE by Pentagon and retiring. In reality, Famous B comes to us from The Indies, most notably Pro Wrestling Guerilla like 75% of Season 1-2 cast. His “retirement” has been on and off but he’s back for real this time, baby! Please watch this if for nothing else than the most perfect Pele kick you’ve ever witnessed by a man in a pimp suit.
Famous B’s feel-good is cut short by his fellow former jobber Ricky Mundo, who has a confession to make (to the audience): he did it! He sicced Matanza on Johnny and Taya! And he warns Taya that as long as she’s around, Johnny will never respect him. The gag, Ricky, is that Johnny absolutely did not respect you with or without Taya; none of us did! I certainly do not respect him for brutalizing poor Famous B AND attacking Beautiful Brenda, a civilian. Vampiro compares Ricky to Vincent D’Onofrio in Full Metal Jacket and that might be the most apt thing he’s said in a while. And yes, Ricky crawls across the mat and makes out with his doll. If this were a different show…
Anyway, back to normal with a brutal main event match between the debuting Reklusa and Pentagon Dark. This is a fantastic match. One thing me and Vampiro have in common is our love of watching Pentagon get messed up by attractive women, and Marty’s new enforcer plays no games. She takes as much punishment as she dishes out and then some, which considering that it’s Pentagon is saying something. Pentagon keeps trying to take Reklusa out with the small package piledriver but even when he DOES hit it (on the damn apron), Reklusa just kicks out. What do you do when faced with someone who’s masochism eclipses your sadism?!
Well, try to piledrive her on a pile of thumbtacks… only for Marty to run out in a leather jacket with a wire-wrapped baseball bat. We’re going straight to Barbed Wire City tonight! Marty gives Pentagon the ol’ cheese grate routine and Reklusa douses him in gasoline, echoing the first cero miedo match. One can only imagine how ugly it’s going to get when they finally have their ultima match… at Ultima Lucha!
Man, time sure flies when you’re having fun. Just about the whole card has been filled out, but what other surprises will LU bust out in the meantime? Just how freaky do Ricky and Rosa get? I don’t want an answer to that last question, but I have a suspicion I’ll get one anyway.
BrightNightmares.weebly.com
You ever watch a show and just think out loud, “Did he just hump the map and erotically kiss a doll?” Yeah.
It’s no secret that Lucha Underground owes a debt to ECW in front of and behind the scenes, and that the show is pre-taped well in advance… but I feel like someone heard me say, “wow, Marty is giving me Raven vibes” and responded back with: “oh yeah?!”
But I’m getting ahead of myself! In fact, this whole episode was a little heavy on the Philadelphia influence, starting with Taya miraculously returning from injury! She pops off mightily on Cueto and his corporeal husk of a son Matanza for ruining her wedding, not to mention killing one of the groomsmen (#justiceforjoey). In a twist, she demands a rematch with the Monster himself! In another twist, Antonio deems it a Sacrifice match! No, god, no!
But against all hope, Taya lives up to her moniker of La Wera Loca (la güera loca, or “crazy blonde chick”) and actually starts beating that man’s ass. Say what? That’s why I want Taya in all my fights. She even gets a pin attempt. Does she win? No. Does she go down swinging? Hell yes. That’s all I can ask for. Goddamn you, Antonio!
Wait! Johnny Mundo runs in for the save! Thank you Aztec gods!
Taya and Johnny escape though I’m sure this is far from over. We proceed to our next event, the bizarre tag match consisting of Mil & Fenix versus Dragon Azteca and Mack. These guys have little to nothing in common besides hating Mil Muertes and… maybe being possessed? Needing a bigger push? The real story here is Mack and Mil’s upcoming death match and Dragon Azteca’s beef with Evil Fenix. And the Cuetos love (re)-killing one bird with one stone.
Of everyone, this match gives Dragon Azteca to show off in the best ways. He cuts the hell up with the high spots. I’m generally impressed with Dragon Azteca but he gets his biggest moments when he has a lot on the line or is looking for retribution in that classic underdog/babyface style. It’s no wonder the Temple treats him like the next coming of his mentor, Rey Mysterio. Now if they would just BOOK him as such…
Mack is prepared for Mil but not very prepared for Fenix, and certainly not prepared for the both of them. Another interesting story here is Fenix and Mil, former enemies, working in perfect tandem. My theory here is: A) who knows you better than the man that hates your guts and has killed you twice; and B) they have a lot in common right now. Lovers of Catrina, both spurned by their respective loved ones and lost after Catrina’s apparent death. Are Mil and Fenix going to become bros now? Doubt it, but for the time being they make an interesting team.
The other thing here is the fact that Mack and Dragon Azteca have very different goals that don’t quite mesh up, and that proves to be their downfall and they get slammed through the mat and straight to hell by Fenix and Mil. Just nasty looking. This doesn’t look too good for Mack’s chances against Mil at Ultima Lucha, but of course a death match is a lot different than your standard not-dying matches.
Special shout out for the audience being live as hell tonight. The temple believers are already pretty special, but this must have been the last taping in a row because these people are not holding back.
The next segment is my MVP of the year: Famous B is back! And he’s feeling better and suddenly more aware of his mortality than ever, so he’s signing a new client: himself! If you never knew or forgot, Famous B actually wrestled on Lucha Underground before having his arm broken TWICE by Pentagon and retiring. In reality, Famous B comes to us from The Indies, most notably Pro Wrestling Guerilla like 75% of Season 1-2 cast. His “retirement” has been on and off but he’s back for real this time, baby! Please watch this if for nothing else than the most perfect Pele kick you’ve ever witnessed by a man in a pimp suit.
Famous B’s feel-good is cut short by his fellow former jobber Ricky Mundo, who has a confession to make (to the audience): he did it! He sicced Matanza on Johnny and Taya! And he warns Taya that as long as she’s around, Johnny will never respect him. The gag, Ricky, is that Johnny absolutely did not respect you with or without Taya; none of us did! I certainly do not respect him for brutalizing poor Famous B AND attacking Beautiful Brenda, a civilian. Vampiro compares Ricky to Vincent D’Onofrio in Full Metal Jacket and that might be the most apt thing he’s said in a while. And yes, Ricky crawls across the mat and makes out with his doll. If this were a different show…
Anyway, back to normal with a brutal main event match between the debuting Reklusa and Pentagon Dark. This is a fantastic match. One thing me and Vampiro have in common is our love of watching Pentagon get messed up by attractive women, and Marty’s new enforcer plays no games. She takes as much punishment as she dishes out and then some, which considering that it’s Pentagon is saying something. Pentagon keeps trying to take Reklusa out with the small package piledriver but even when he DOES hit it (on the damn apron), Reklusa just kicks out. What do you do when faced with someone who’s masochism eclipses your sadism?!
Well, try to piledrive her on a pile of thumbtacks… only for Marty to run out in a leather jacket with a wire-wrapped baseball bat. We’re going straight to Barbed Wire City tonight! Marty gives Pentagon the ol’ cheese grate routine and Reklusa douses him in gasoline, echoing the first cero miedo match. One can only imagine how ugly it’s going to get when they finally have their ultima match… at Ultima Lucha!
Man, time sure flies when you’re having fun. Just about the whole card has been filled out, but what other surprises will LU bust out in the meantime? Just how freaky do Ricky and Rosa get? I don’t want an answer to that last question, but I have a suspicion I’ll get one anyway.
