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Batman is Stupid

I hate Batman, I said I hate almost every aspect of the man. I know I sound like everyone who wants to be a hipster and say they hate Batman, but secretly hold a cache of their most treasured batman possessions, their dearest is their mask. I’m not going to say I dislike Batman because he’s too main stream. I just hate batman and it’s not because his only superpower is money. Seriously, that’s his superpower. That guy has an infinite supply of cash. Even Tony Stark has gone broke before and that guy basically sells weapons to people who try to kill him. But not Bruce Wayne, his money is infinite and doesn’t even have a weakness.

First, I’d like to say he stops a lot of crimes. But he refuses to kill people. Let’s look at the trouble that’s caused. Actually let’s just look at the problems caused by not killing joker. Barbara Gordon was paralyzed. Jason Todd died. Those are just people close to Bruce. I’m talking numbers. In the story “Lovers and Madmen” Joker drops poisoned glass from a blimp killing a large portion of Gotham’s residents. Maybe Gotham doesn’t have the death penalty and that’s why the city won’t just kill him. But Batman is above the law and still won’t kill him. Then you can sprinkle in all the people killed by Penguin, Riddler, Two Face, Various Mobsters, Black Mask and Batman’s countless other rogues. If he would have just killed Joker in the past a lot of people would still be alive and this has no effect on his mental state. All these dead people and he doesn’t feel bad.

 
Speaking of dying, why isn’t he dead yet? He takes a ton of bullets, literally there has to be a ton of bullets to hit him at this point. Yet, not a single one has landed in a vital organ. Better yet, not a single bullet has hit him in the head. The place with the big open gap where his mouth is. Why hasn’t one of the villains who have managed to catch him not just shot him in the head yet? Seriously just kill him. What about all the time he faces off against Superman? Can Superman not blow up his head with heat vision? Can Superman not punch him into oblivion? 


Batman also isn’t as smart as people seem to think he is. Batman doesn’t design most of his tech. He’s not very good at surgeries and antidotes. Alfred is the surgeon and the computer creates the antidotes. Batman is a great detective and he still can’t figure out how to stop the Joker. Batman doesn’t even develop his own tech. It’s been shown that he steals it. Batman can be the world’s greatest detective, but he’s not even top ten other categories.

The reason I hate Batman most of all is because he’s Batman. That allows him to escape situations by the dumbest logic possible. Batman didn’t get killed, he got transported to the past. Don’t worry, the utility belt has the solution. Because he has everything in there. That belt should be at least 500lbs with all the crap he carries.  He carries everything from cat food to military strength wire. What isn’t in the belt? I lost my keys earlier, do you think he has them? 

Seriously, I hate Batman. There’s no way you can redeem him. Black Lightning called Superman racist and Batman said “Well, he’s got a point.” That was probably the only cool thing Batman has ever done. I’m going to create some gear and kill Batman. The lack of logic in his victories is enough to drive a man insane. I think I understand the Joker now.
Darrell S.

Hey, I write stuff, a lot of different stuff, that's all.

3 Comments

  1. This was a good read.

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  2. you’re a fucking idiot your point of batman should kill joker is so wrong look at the stuff that resulted to him killing joker batman who laughs batman has a bullet proof suit there was a scene in bvs where he got shot 3 times in the back of the head batman doesn’t build his gadgets because he’s spending all his time stopping crime we’ve seen he’s smart enough to make his own in so many different renditions of him all of your points are horrible do your research before you post your horrible opinions i hope your posts are satire

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