Blerd Film Club: Blankman

1994, seems like a great year. I was only two. But, In Living Color was around, so it couldn't be bad at all. I mean, unless you're Nancy Kerrigan, Nicole Brown, Ronald Goldman, Aldrich Ames, or the woman Bill Clinton was accused of sexually harassing in Arkansas. You know what, scratch that. One good thing about 1994 was the classic film Blankman hit theaters, and the critics hit back, hard.

Darryl Walker is a repairman, an a blerd. He's also very clumsy which doesn't make his job easy, but he still loves it because he gets to tinker with things. The only thing he loves more is Batman. Despite living in a terrible neighborhood, he thinks it's great. Until, his grandmother is murdered. One day he stops a woman from being mugged and believes he has the power to make a change in the city. He then realizes for the first time that the home across the street is a crakhouse. It doesn't work out. He decides instead that he will become a hero, Blankman, and begins creating gadgets. His brother Kevin plays along thinking this is how Darryl is coping with their grandmother's death.

Darryl attempts to get a meeting with the police commissioner. However, he's arrested and released only if he sees a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist thinks Darryl is normal but Kevin doesn't agree. Blankman continues to attempt cleaning the streets. However, one night he meets someone who is just going to shoot him in the head. This forces Kevin, an actual martial artist to step in. Blankman delivers a baby in an elevator and is officially called Blankman by the news.

Eventually Blankman agrees to an interview with a reporter named Kimberly. He takes her to his secret hideout and she falls in love with him. She gives him his first kiss and it isn't clear if he prematurely ejaculates or not. Blankman later attempts to save the mayor from dying in a bank heist but can't disarm the bombs in time. The mayor dies, and the neighborhood turns on him. He gets a job at McDonalds. However Kevin, who is a real reporter learns the mob boss Minelli had their grandmother killed, because that's how the mob gets down.

Kevin agrees to put on the costume Darryl made for him and they attack Minelli as Blankman and The Other Guy. That's really his hero name. Minelli has taken Kimberly hostage due to her love of Blankman. Minelli is on the ropes, but has more bombs in the building. This time Blankman summons his robot J-5 who uses his bomb disposal mode, and sacrifices itself. They head to Minelli's warehouse for the showdown and Kevin immediately gets shot because Darryl only bulletproofed one suit. They still manage to win the fight. Later Kevin introduces Darryl to Kimberly who already knows the secret. When Kimberly kisses Darryl they laugh as he passes out after possibly suffering from premature ejaculation again.

Maybe I'm a little bias. I think the Wayans Family is great. Even the new generation, which are all older than me so they aren't that new. Anyway, instead of me just telling you all how funny I think it is, I just wanted to share a couple of Rotten Tomatoes reviews:
Damon Wayans loses credibility in 90 minute movie shocker!
Aims for the most simplistic sort of slapstick ... and fails even at that.
Wayans's attempt to take a bite out of crime doesn't really work. In fact, he's shooting a blank.
It's a good movie but you'll have some questions. Why does everyone let Darryl get away with this stuff? Why is he prematurely ejaculating every time he gets a kiss? Why not bulletproof Kevin's suit as well? Blankman, perfect for the whole family. Better than any Batman film.

You can check out some of my fiction at 12 AM Fiction or follow my web serial Exsanguinate and of course hear me on the Powerbomb Jutsu podcast.
Blerd Film Club: Blankman  Blerd Film Club: Blankman Reviewed by Darrell S. on Friday, February 28, 2020 Rating: 5

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