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5 Things Red Dead Redemption 2 Didn't Really Need


1. Dirty guns: It's nice that they've taken the time to detail dirty guns and create a system for cleaning them but we didn't really need it. Who ever jumped for joy at the thought of cleaning their guns? I mean besides someone who believes a good guy with a gun is the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun. Unless the good guy with a gun is a black guy the then other good guys with guns will shoot him. Anyway, I didn't really need to take a few minutes to sit by the campfire and clean my guns.

2. Body Odor: I'm just going to go out on a limb and say everyone stunk back then. Despite that, if you go into eagle eye mode, you can see Arthur's odor. If he's really dirty it's even stronger. Thank you for reminding me I should go jump into a river or something because I smell bad and I'm scaring all the animals away.

3. Hat stealing: Nothing like knocking a guy down, grabbing his hat and running away. Actually I take it back, this one is great. I always lose my hat so I just take a random one after a shoot out. It isn't like the O'Driscols are going to need it where they're going.

4. Horse Turds: If you just hang out for a while, you can watch your horse take a dump. A big dump. Horses take big dumps if you didn't know. Someone spent three weeks modeling those turds and creating a mechanism for them to fall from the horses behind. But did we really need to know horses poop? We kind of already knew.

5. Horse Testicles: While we're on the topic, let's talk about horse testicles. They are there and they are large. I didn't notice at first because the 3 horses in my stable were all female. Then I bought a male horse. That horse had grapefruits the size of actual grapefruits.

Download a free copy of Darrell's book Phantasmagoricalread some of his other work at 12AMFiction.com and hear him on the Powerbomb Jutsu Podcast

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