You Don't Like Mineta Because You Are Mineta


Mineta is the resident pervert and C student from Boku No Hero Academia. I know what you're saying, why don't you just say My Hero Academy? The answer is I was trying to tell people it was great after 3 chapters but you were all too busy mourning Naruto to listen. I was set in my ways long before the dub was released. You always know it's going to be good when I go off topic before the first paragraph is over. You just know I'm going to say something stupid and the Blerds Online account will get 40 tweets about it.

Anyway, Mineta is a pervert. He's a C student and will likely never amount to anything. He spends most of his time crying and failing to utilize his ability to create sticky balls of super glue. Instead he can't stop touching himself. People say he ruins everything. He's gross. He's blah blah blah. I could not agree more. But, unlike many of those people I don't hate him. I think a lot of people hate Mineta because deep down they are Mineta.

I mean, have you seen anime fans? I'm wagering that like 98% are perverts. 2% are those creepy people in the human population that are robots. Not asexual people, but people with no emotions and are content being that way. Creepy, but they make up 2% of anime fans. Now 70% of anime fans are just regular perverts who live normal lives and you'd never know they were perverts. They might look at some strange porn genres, have a secret kink, like feet too much, might be a little experimental in the bedroom, smell their spouses underwear when they aren't around or whatever. I'm not judging because it's all good, nobody ever gets hurt and when they get found out they just shrug. Normal human stuff.

Now that 28% of anime fans is who really really hate Mineta. Because they're just like him. They are super perverts. You know the ones with the body pillows the smell of sexual fluids. The anime themed sex toys. These folks come in all genders, races and sexual orientations. I'm not picking on anyone. I've seen dildos and fleshlights just posted for the world to see. I'm not a "hide your shame," kind of person but damn, nobody asked to see all that at 11am. I haven't even taken my lunch yet. You 28% watch way too much porn, like Mineta. You usually have some great potential and just don't use it.

For example, Mineta's power seems useless. But, it could be one of the best powers for capturing and restraining villains. Instead he spends all his time trying to figure out how to climb the side of a building and peek through windows. I've some great artist out there who can draw incredible work. They spend all their time drawing hentai. Just down right dirty sick stuff, with tentacles and all of that. They could use that skill other ways, but they don't. They don't even sell the hentai to the highest bidders. They just show everyone they did it. Instead they spend all day working at the local chicken spot. You with the 879 instrumentals you've produced but hasn't sold 1 yet. Guess who you are? Mineta.

Does Mineta cry a lot? You damn right, but so do you. I'm all about releasing your emotions and being true to who you are. I wish I didn't bottle my emotions up so much, but I do, so whatever. But oh my goodness you people cry over everything. "I dropped my bacon," and then you burst into tears. You got too many red lights on your way to work, the tears are flowing. I mean cry, get it out, but cry over something reasonable. You are all the same as Mineta, in the sense that you think everything is going to kill you. It's not, take a deep breath Mineta.

The 28% most certainly do ruin everything. They're the reason most anime fans keep their love of it on the low. Because the 28% is always coming out with the porn and flinging poop. You didn't like Attack on Titan well your mother should have put you up for adoption. You like Dragon Ball well you're basic and that's all you'll ever be. One Piece? Don't even get them started. They will literally ruin everything for everyone. You're not fun to be around, and you ruin people's moods. Mineta.

It is entirely possible to dislike Mineta and not be in the vocal 28% of creepy anime fans. However, a lot of you dislike him because you're looking in a mirror. I'm just being all the way honest with you. The way you won't be honest with yourself, Mineta.

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You Don't Like Mineta Because You Are Mineta You Don't Like Mineta Because You Are Mineta Reviewed by Blerds Online on Friday, September 28, 2018 Rating: 5

2 comments:

  1. Great piece! AOT IS FUCKING DOPE THO! JUST SAYING!!!!!!!!!

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  2. actually many people hate on mineta because he pervs on girls and everyone and is exactky the sort of person who would get bitch-slapped irl for it (an also probably arrested for sexual harrassment, just saying) and honestly he doesnt really deserve to be at u.a. (he would at least get expelled for all the shit hes pulled, or replaced by shinsou)

    but yeah also creepy anime fans lmao

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