Pro wrestling is just Soap Operas with testosterone. That's how I see it. Being soap operas means there's a lot of talking. A lot of promos. Some people are great at them, some people are not. Some people cut once in a life time good promos that you remember forever. So, I sat down and made a list of what I think are the top 10 wrestling promos of all time. Enjoy:
The Rock and Chris Jericho are two guys I considered to be incredible on the mic, maybe the best. The thing is, they've got so many great promos, there's nothing that really stands out because there's always 5 more on that level. So I went ahead and chose this one where he just destroys Toronto like he did Billy Gunn. In a few minutes he goes from having the crowd eating out of his hand to booing him out of the stadium and I love it. Hollywood Rock, was my favorite Rock. From the theme, to the leather, the new tattoos. The Rock didn't turn on the people. The people turned on the People's Champ.
This one gets a spot on the list because it's one of those promos that defines the rest of a person's career. Steve Austin has had some great promos in his time. I'd never put him on the level of Rock or Jericho but he had the charisma and catch phrases. But this one, Austin 3:16. It was short and sweet but it coined his most popular catchphrase that would follow him forever.
CM Punk isn't the first guy to drop a pipe bomb. Brett Hart did it. Steve Austin did, Rick Rude did it. It's been done a lot. One of my favorites is Joey Styles. Sure, it was just to get over the new wwECW expansion, but it's not like he was telling any lies. He didn't need a job at WWE. The King had become a watered down hack who just repeated catchphrases. No matter how long Joey had been holding down the commentary booth, WWE didn't consider him to be good enough. Eventually they even took him off the ECW booth. In this case, he felt that he wasn't good enough to cover Backlash. To add insult to injury, they fired him again in 2018, before Backlash returned to rotation. Joey Styles will never cover Backlash because WWE doesn't think he's good enough. One of the craziest things is you can watch the fans behind King. They're laughing and having fun, then Joey starts dropping facts and their jaws start dropping.
CM Punk wasn't the first, wasn't the last, not even the best. I'm giving him a spot on the list because he did everything he said he would. He actually did make some huge changes in the WWE programming after it. He did take the title and walk out. He was vilified, now he's a martyr but that's another rant. The one thing he didn't change is there's still a bunch of part timers taking the biggest spot on PPV cards. Imaginary brass rings and everything else, it doesn't matter if you cant politic backstage. Also, Colt Cabana let that shout out go to his head.
6. Ric Flair - The World Tour
Ric Flair has some incredible promos in his career. I mean, a lot of older wrestlers call him a racist and I believe them. I also believe he could cut some damn good promos. Including this one. The Slick Ric Flair world tour was crazy. He's got more cars than most of us have friends. Rolex wearing, diamond ring wearing, kiss stealing, wheeling dealing, jet flying son of a gun. Can't deny it.
I absolutely love William Regal in any role. It doesn't matter if he's a dirty manager, refusing to job to Goldberg, a crooked GM or whatever. His ring work is unquestionable and his promo skills often go overlooked. The only people with anything bad to say about William Regal are that flight attendant and William Regal. William Regal could easily flow back and forth between good guy and bad guy with no story needed. He's just got that tendency. William Regal had a legendary career but it is also one of the biggest what ifs in history. What if William Regal had stayed sober and won the WWE Champion? His biggest regret in his career is that he didn't stay sober. He's hardly the first wrestler to struggle with that demon and certainly won't be the last. Despite that he was always able to entertain us with this charming and cheery personality that would snap at any given moment and become one of the most ruthless men in the business. When he tells HHH he will fight him with every ounce of violent venom that runs through his veins, you believe him.
Dusty Rhodes is everything Ric Flair isn't. Nobody has ever called Dusty, stylish or sexy or any of that. He'll let you know, his belly is a little big and he doesn't fit the mold. Hulk Hogan is often held up as a real American but Dusty Rhodes was the true real American. He really did lay it all on the line for what the average American was, and is. Working hard 9-5 hoping the job we hate doesn't get eliminated. When Dusty spoke about hard times we believe him, he knows what hard times where. He was a man of the people and that was always clear, not above us, but an equal and that's why it's so endearing. Dusty had a way of speaking that always conveyed a sense of honesty and honor. Dusty spoke like a man you could trust.
Mark Henry has had a crazy career. He did a lot of different things and styles but he was never really seen as great until this moment. He cut one of the most emotional promos of all time. He really moved everyone and had us believing. Tears were shed. Tweets were sent. Then he just decimates John Cena to let us know he's got a lot left in the tank. But like R-Truth at Capital Punishment he still came up short... Anyway, he went on to have the best run of his career winning the World Heavyweight Championship and literally ruling through terror for months. Believe it or not, he was also a big part of Daniel Bryan going from over to over the fucking moon, even if you don't want to believe it. I said it. This was better than his actual hall of fame speech.
The Miz has been one of my favorites since his first WWE championship win and he was getting overlooked a lot before this promo. He's been the best promo guy in WWE for almost a decade. I don't care what you say. I have no doubt part of it was scripted but Miz went all the way off script somewhere or really started believing it and he was telling the truth. If Daniel Bryan was serious he would have quit. Daniel Bryan once called Mick Foley out for quitting and going to TNA when WWE wouldn't let him wrestle anymore, but he wouldn't do it. Miz is also right, he is there day in and day out. The only time he leaves is to film a movie and he's right back when the filming is over. He's always doing media. He is one of the hardest working wrestlers in WWE even if people don't want to admit it. Maybe they admit it now because he's trending but I remember when people were telling that John Morrison would be the star not The Miz. You're wrong.
To preface this, Eddie Guerrero won a shot at Brock's WWE Championship. Brock comes out with a mariachi band to mock Eddie. Eddie breaks up the party and Brock cuts a promo about how Eddie is a drug addict. That's when we pick up and Eddie promises to tell it straight up. Eddie goes into detail about how he is an addict and he overdosed right in Brock's state. Eddie doesn't tell any excuses. He goes into detail about rehab, how he alienated his family and he was an addict. No, he is an addict and he will do anything to get high. But, now his high is performing for that crowd and he would never understand having to fight for everything he loved. As a kid, I didn't really get everything he was saying but as an adult, I damn near cried watching it. When Eddie talks about how he's an addict and always will be, he touches your soul. Usually when WWE touches on addiction it's a joke. CM Punk being a fake drunk, Hawk falling off stages and so on. But Eddie being open and honest about being a real addict. Just damn. "I am an addict and I'll do anything and run over anybody that it's going to take to get that around my waist and get my high," you can't write that shit. He's visibly getting red as he delivers the promo and the crowd is eating it up. Damn, it's incredible. Just damn.
You should buy Darrell's Book, watch him on the Blerds Online YouTube Channel or The CP Time and Powerbomb Jutsu podcasts.
10. The Rock - Concert
The Rock and Chris Jericho are two guys I considered to be incredible on the mic, maybe the best. The thing is, they've got so many great promos, there's nothing that really stands out because there's always 5 more on that level. So I went ahead and chose this one where he just destroys Toronto like he did Billy Gunn. In a few minutes he goes from having the crowd eating out of his hand to booing him out of the stadium and I love it. Hollywood Rock, was my favorite Rock. From the theme, to the leather, the new tattoos. The Rock didn't turn on the people. The people turned on the People's Champ.
9. Steve Austin - 3:16
This one gets a spot on the list because it's one of those promos that defines the rest of a person's career. Steve Austin has had some great promos in his time. I'd never put him on the level of Rock or Jericho but he had the charisma and catch phrases. But this one, Austin 3:16. It was short and sweet but it coined his most popular catchphrase that would follow him forever.
8 Joey Styles - Unscripted Uncensored Loose Cannon of Commentary
CM Punk isn't the first guy to drop a pipe bomb. Brett Hart did it. Steve Austin did, Rick Rude did it. It's been done a lot. One of my favorites is Joey Styles. Sure, it was just to get over the new wwECW expansion, but it's not like he was telling any lies. He didn't need a job at WWE. The King had become a watered down hack who just repeated catchphrases. No matter how long Joey had been holding down the commentary booth, WWE didn't consider him to be good enough. Eventually they even took him off the ECW booth. In this case, he felt that he wasn't good enough to cover Backlash. To add insult to injury, they fired him again in 2018, before Backlash returned to rotation. Joey Styles will never cover Backlash because WWE doesn't think he's good enough. One of the craziest things is you can watch the fans behind King. They're laughing and having fun, then Joey starts dropping facts and their jaws start dropping.
7. CM Punk - Pipe Bomb
CM Punk wasn't the first, wasn't the last, not even the best. I'm giving him a spot on the list because he did everything he said he would. He actually did make some huge changes in the WWE programming after it. He did take the title and walk out. He was vilified, now he's a martyr but that's another rant. The one thing he didn't change is there's still a bunch of part timers taking the biggest spot on PPV cards. Imaginary brass rings and everything else, it doesn't matter if you cant politic backstage. Also, Colt Cabana let that shout out go to his head.
6. Ric Flair - The World Tour
Ric Flair has some incredible promos in his career. I mean, a lot of older wrestlers call him a racist and I believe them. I also believe he could cut some damn good promos. Including this one. The Slick Ric Flair world tour was crazy. He's got more cars than most of us have friends. Rolex wearing, diamond ring wearing, kiss stealing, wheeling dealing, jet flying son of a gun. Can't deny it.
5. William Regal - Violent Venom
I absolutely love William Regal in any role. It doesn't matter if he's a dirty manager, refusing to job to Goldberg, a crooked GM or whatever. His ring work is unquestionable and his promo skills often go overlooked. The only people with anything bad to say about William Regal are that flight attendant and William Regal. William Regal could easily flow back and forth between good guy and bad guy with no story needed. He's just got that tendency. William Regal had a legendary career but it is also one of the biggest what ifs in history. What if William Regal had stayed sober and won the WWE Champion? His biggest regret in his career is that he didn't stay sober. He's hardly the first wrestler to struggle with that demon and certainly won't be the last. Despite that he was always able to entertain us with this charming and cheery personality that would snap at any given moment and become one of the most ruthless men in the business. When he tells HHH he will fight him with every ounce of violent venom that runs through his veins, you believe him.
4. Dusty Rhodes - Hard Times
Dusty Rhodes is everything Ric Flair isn't. Nobody has ever called Dusty, stylish or sexy or any of that. He'll let you know, his belly is a little big and he doesn't fit the mold. Hulk Hogan is often held up as a real American but Dusty Rhodes was the true real American. He really did lay it all on the line for what the average American was, and is. Working hard 9-5 hoping the job we hate doesn't get eliminated. When Dusty spoke about hard times we believe him, he knows what hard times where. He was a man of the people and that was always clear, not above us, but an equal and that's why it's so endearing. Dusty had a way of speaking that always conveyed a sense of honesty and honor. Dusty spoke like a man you could trust.
3. Mark Henry - I got a lot left
Mark Henry has had a crazy career. He did a lot of different things and styles but he was never really seen as great until this moment. He cut one of the most emotional promos of all time. He really moved everyone and had us believing. Tears were shed. Tweets were sent. Then he just decimates John Cena to let us know he's got a lot left in the tank. But like R-Truth at Capital Punishment he still came up short... Anyway, he went on to have the best run of his career winning the World Heavyweight Championship and literally ruling through terror for months. Believe it or not, he was also a big part of Daniel Bryan going from over to over the fucking moon, even if you don't want to believe it. I said it. This was better than his actual hall of fame speech.
2. The Miz - Just Quit
The Miz has been one of my favorites since his first WWE championship win and he was getting overlooked a lot before this promo. He's been the best promo guy in WWE for almost a decade. I don't care what you say. I have no doubt part of it was scripted but Miz went all the way off script somewhere or really started believing it and he was telling the truth. If Daniel Bryan was serious he would have quit. Daniel Bryan once called Mick Foley out for quitting and going to TNA when WWE wouldn't let him wrestle anymore, but he wouldn't do it. Miz is also right, he is there day in and day out. The only time he leaves is to film a movie and he's right back when the filming is over. He's always doing media. He is one of the hardest working wrestlers in WWE even if people don't want to admit it. Maybe they admit it now because he's trending but I remember when people were telling that John Morrison would be the star not The Miz. You're wrong.
1. Eddie Guerrero - I am an addict
To preface this, Eddie Guerrero won a shot at Brock's WWE Championship. Brock comes out with a mariachi band to mock Eddie. Eddie breaks up the party and Brock cuts a promo about how Eddie is a drug addict. That's when we pick up and Eddie promises to tell it straight up. Eddie goes into detail about how he is an addict and he overdosed right in Brock's state. Eddie doesn't tell any excuses. He goes into detail about rehab, how he alienated his family and he was an addict. No, he is an addict and he will do anything to get high. But, now his high is performing for that crowd and he would never understand having to fight for everything he loved. As a kid, I didn't really get everything he was saying but as an adult, I damn near cried watching it. When Eddie talks about how he's an addict and always will be, he touches your soul. Usually when WWE touches on addiction it's a joke. CM Punk being a fake drunk, Hawk falling off stages and so on. But Eddie being open and honest about being a real addict. Just damn. "I am an addict and I'll do anything and run over anybody that it's going to take to get that around my waist and get my high," you can't write that shit. He's visibly getting red as he delivers the promo and the crowd is eating it up. Damn, it's incredible. Just damn.
You should buy Darrell's Book, watch him on the Blerds Online YouTube Channel or The CP Time and Powerbomb Jutsu podcasts.
