Watching Bad Movies: Fist Fight


What can I say about the movie Fist Fight that hasn't already been said about Donald Trump's hair. It looks desperate for attention, loose yet brittle, full of semen, and just plain ridiculous. I figured I could sit down and watch a movie with Ice Cube and Charlie Day, who is also Charlie on Always Sunny. I didn't know that before today, I kept wondering why they were calling him Charlie.

So the movie takes place in a school facing budget cuts and an increase in the number of students while teachers are being fired. Mr. Campbell (Charlie) is one of these teachers who could be fired as the entire English department has been fired except for him. Campbell is a chump and the students walk all over him. Then there's Cube as Mr. Strickland a no nonsense bad ass with a ton of rumors about him ranging from former Navy Seal to drug runner, mercenary, underground fighter and so on. The kids actually fear him because he's crazy.

Things escalate after Campbell goes to Strickland's history class because a VCR isn't working correctly. That's right, a VCR in 2016 because the school district would not buy a DVD player but they did buy a $1000 coffee maker for the teacher's lounge. Wow man, this reminds me of real life. This is too real. So this annoying kid is turning the VCR on and off. Eventually Campbell catches him and Strickland destroys the phone. The kid gets another phone and Strickland loses it destroying his desk with an ax.

In the meeting Campbell snitches on Strickland causing him to get fired. Some weird events happen and Campbell buys drugs from a kid, buys a few Macbooks, and tries to have Strickland framed for selling drugs. Strickland says "fuck the police," and they both go to jail. They're set free and Campbell performs at his daughters talent show before showing up to fight Strickland. The actual fight is around 10 minutes and it's hilarious. Strickland claims he wants this so he can show the world what the school system has come to. Good teachers fighting for a single job while students watch. They just beat the hell out of each other and it's hilarious. In the end they get their jobs back after becoming national heroes. They become friends and everything works out.

I have never watched a movie with so many dick jokes. There's actual porn playing in once scene. There's dicks mowed into the football field. There's a kid jerking it in the bathroom and so many more. It's ridiculous. Someone was obsessed with dicks for this. I take it back, Superbad had more dicks, but just barely.

There's Miss Holly the guidance counselor. She's a drug addict. She's also obsessed with having sex with the male students. In the end it actually happens. Tracy Morgan plays a gym teacher who is dedicated to losing and having sex with the students' mothers. At least it isn't the students and that counts for something right? There's a really funny scene where Campbell performs at his daughter's talent show. They perform Big Sean's song "IDFWU." It's not school appropriate at all.

The script is horrible, the jokes are something you expect from high school students, except it's usually coming from the mouths of adults in this film. You're going to get a lot of laughs out of watching this one but it's bad. It is so very bad as our President Donald Trump would say. About 25% of those laughs are deserved like Ice Cube yelling "Fuck the police," but the other 75% are going to be you wondering how this film got made.

You can hear Darrell on the CP Time and Powerbomb Jutsu podcasts. He also plays classic arcade games on The Cabinet. You can also check out his playthrough of Sleeping Dogs or Skyrim
Watching Bad Movies: Fist Fight Watching Bad Movies: Fist Fight Reviewed by Darrell S. on Tuesday, July 11, 2017 Rating: 5

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