IDFWU: Apple Fans

You ever met a group of people you just could not roll with? A group of people who seemed like normal citizens but there was something about them you just couldn't stand. Basically you didn't fuck with them. Well, sometimes you just can't. That's how I feel about Apple users, Macs, iPhones, Air buds, all of that. Apple users, it's simple, I don't fuck with you.

I don't have any problems with the Apple products, it's just not my cup of tea. But, I'm not going to sit here and let Apple fans tell me that all of it is top of the line never been done before shit. Because most of the time someone else has already done it and done it better. Then on top of that Apple goes ahead and simplifies stuff for their users but they act like it is so technologically advanced when it's not. You can pick up any android phone and do the same things, hell you can pick up a windows phone and do the same things. I'll give them props for coming up with Siri first, but at least Cortana isn't telling people where to dump bodies.

Don't you love how Apple fans pass off stupid shit like it's great? "I just love how everything is so safe in the cloud. There is no cloud. It's just some random guy's computer hooked up to a bunch of hard drives. Yeah, that's all the cloud is and I promise you Pervy Herv that runs the server has looked through all your photos. "These Apple Air Buds are going to be great." Yeah, now plug in the aux cord, oh wait you can't because they removed the headphone jack which is actually way more versatile than just audio. You really want some Air Buds? Two little ass pieces of plastic to jam into your ears that will break in 2 weeks and cost $40 for another pair or get lost the moment you lose them. This might be the worst bluetooth device I've ever seen. That's why the only Air Bud I respect is a dog.

If the arrogance coming off of Apple users was steam you could build a sauna around them. "I only use Macs because they let me express my artistic freedom." I'll say it, most of the time when someone says something like that I already know their art is either pure trash or on the most basic of levels. I'm pretty sure the pros can use the Adobe Creative Suite on a Mac or Windows but you really need a Mac to create that loud ass techno intro for your YouTube channel with all the latest tips and tricks on getting free cereal. And I swear if one more rappers says something about using a Mac because it makes the quality of his music better I swear I'm going to be personally responsible for him quitting rap.

Your new iPhone is just an iPod Touch with a camera which is just a smaller version of an iPad which is a more portable version of a Macbook. All that shit is the same. All that shit runs on the same software. Once you own one you own them all because they all do the same shit, with their made for grandma icons. Yet Apple fans can never stop talking about how the new version is going to be better, when it does the exact same shit and runs on the exact same system. There is no change.

I'll tell you what the problem is, you're all elitist. You don't care if it's actually the best product. You just want a name brand and an opportunity to brag about how much money you no longer have because you payed for a slightly bigger iphone. But please continue on and tell me more about the top tier features everyone else had last year.

For your continued arrogance and superiority complex over a product that just isn't that good, Apple fans, I don't fuck with you.

You can hear Darrell on the CP Time and Powerbomb Jutsu podcasts. He also plays classic arcade games on The Cabinet
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