Watching Bad Anime - Blood: The Last Vamipire

So every now and then I do a post for the site called Watching Bad Movies. I force myself to watch a really bad movie. I try to say something nice about it, then I just rip into and destroy any thoughts you had about it being a good movie. I've never had to do that with anime, but I have now. I figured it's October, let's watch some horror anime. I settled on the film Blood: The Last Vampire. I was told that this film would demonstrate to me how good the Bloof Franchise was. The movie even has a 4 and a half star rating. Somebody lied.

The story follows a girl named Saya on an American military base in Japan during Vietnam. She's "The last original vampire" and has to hunt down the fake vampires? This is never explained, they're more vampire than her. She doesn't even drink blood or take supplements in this film. She decides to go to school to hunt them. At one point without explaining anything she just jumps into the nurses offices and murders a random girl before cutting another's arm off and telling the nurse "You better forget what you saw" Then she chases the other down and finds her, they fight. The nurse shows up, there's awkward tension. She kills the girl after she transforms.

Now let's talk about why it's bad. So bad, horrible. First, I thought I was watching the dub version but the first words were subtitled in Japanese. Maybe I got the wrong version, nope. There's one version of this film. Some parts are in English, some parts are in Japanese. You basically get to pick which 1/4th of the film you want subbed. I said 1/4th. There's more talking but there are parts with no voices but all the background audio remains. At one point they were having a conversation that started in English, switched to Japanese for no reason then their lips kept moving but no voices came out and there were no more subs. But all the background noise remained the same. It wasn't made louder, it wasn't distorted. This wasn't for effect they just said "Get the b roll film of people talking, nobody cares what they're saying anyway."

Now, an ugly anime doesn't make it a bad anime. I've watched and enjoyed some ugly anime. But this is just disgusting. Almost everything is grey or brown. I assume they did this so nobody could see how bad it was. Sometimes in older anime black people have these big pink lips like a menstrual show. That didn't happen here, instead everyone else had those lips. Instead the black people had these big awkward bug eyes. But let's look past that. We'll just pretend the animation wasn't bad. I've got another question? Why does it sound like most of the characters in the film shared the same voice actors?

Now for plot questions. There's a moment when the school nurse is praying. Saya snatches her crucifix and tells her, throws it on the ground and says "There's no God, you might as well kill yourself if you're gonna pray." Then she gives the nurse a gun to do it with. Fast forward to Saya getting wrecked by the vampire. The nurse has gathered her composure and put the gun to her head. She's about 5 seconds from pulling the trigger. At this point Saya yells for her to stop. You have to make up your mind. Do you want her to kill herself or not? Also, you've been spending the whole film trying to kill this vampire, then you cut your wrist and feed it your blood at the end. Also, this all takes place on a military base. There was one casualty the entire film that wasn't a vampire (Proving the black guy really does die first) and the only witness was the nurse. What?

The plot is bad, the visuals are bad, the voice acting is bad. I can say the music is good right? Wrong, it's bad too and I'm pretty sure they just looped the same song through the entire film. You know what's even worse. The worse part is that this film actually got a spin off in 2005 and a live action version. Also it sold 100,000 copies in it's first week. I say sold because it was straight to DVD and VCR. You have to be stupid to enjoy this film. I don't usually say stuff like that about anime. I mean, I enjoyed Tenchi Muyo GXP, I can't point fingers. But this is all bad. I challenge you to leave a comment and name 5 redeeming qualities about this film. You can't do it. This is bad. I've seen some bad anime but this is the worst. Nobody should watch it. They should take all copies of this and send them into the sun. Then they should wipe whatever servers are hosting it online. Then they should clear it from every hard drive that it's stored on. I can't continue with this. It was horrible. The worst I've ever seen. That's it.

You can hear Darrell on the CP Time and Powerbomb Jutsu podcasts.
 
Watching Bad Anime - Blood: The Last Vamipire Watching Bad Anime - Blood: The Last Vamipire Reviewed by Darrell S. on Monday, October 06, 2014 Rating: 5

3 comments:

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