1. Kurupt - Calling Out Names
Back when Big Sean dropped his song "Control" and the world went crazy for Kendrick Lamar's King of New York line Kurupt came up. That's because it was a Kurupt line. Then Kurupt goes on Vlad TV and does some kind of rant and I'm not sure if he is mad at Kendrick or not, I also think he might have been "on that stuff," as your grandmother would say. Anyway, Kurupt is petty, not because of that interview but because of his legendary diss track 'Callin Out Names." It was a great track, but it's so petty.
Kurupt had dated Foxy Brown and the two became engaged. Then they split up and she may or may not have moved on to DMX. Either way, Kurupt don't like that shit cuz. So he goes in the studio and records "Callin Out Names." This isn't a diss track to just DMX. Nope, it's DMX, Foxie and a ton of people who had nothing to do with it. I'm not even joking. Nas, AZ, Murder Inc, 50 Cent, The Rough Riders and anyone who knew Foxie or DMX. There's probably an extended version where Kurupt calls out Foxie's mom or something. Nobody actually replied to him because he was just being crazy. Nobody did anything to him. People were chilling at home and heard the song on the radio and asked "What did I ever do to Kurupt." Don't you know Kurupt is crazy?
One of the legendary lines of the song is "Trynna sign Daz, nigga Daz 'll sign you." That's a dope line, funny thing is Kurupt would later beef with Daz, because Daz signed to Death Row. One of my favorite lines was "You salamander-ass caterpillar-ass mothafucka, fake-ass busta-ass fake killa mothafucka." It's funny because this line wasn't even aimed at anyone. Who is Kurupt talking about? Was he just venting? Look man, Kurupt is crazy, I know because he randomly yells out "Kurupt says fuck em" for no reason at all. He just started referring to himself in third person.
2. Queen Latifah Name Calling Part 1
A lot of women questioned Queen Latifah's place in rap. She was out there fully clothed and selling records. She was also acting in movies and television shows. She was doing it big but there were still women questioning her. None more than Foxy Brown. Queen Latifah dropped the track "Name Calling." Queen Latifah dropped legendary lines such as "You'll never be the woman that your father was." Queen Latifah didn't actually say Foxy's name because she "wouldn't diss another sister unless she had it coming." Latifah just didn't like being questioned and that's understandable. This was just a warning shot. Foxy had stated Queen Latifah was jealous that she was on the rise. Queen Latifah responds with "Another bitch after my crown but I don't hate her, cuz she couldn't come up if she was getting fucked in the elevator." Foxy expected Latifah to give props and that just didn't work because it led to the hardest hitting part "Fuck giving props where they ain't due, fuck you and that nigga who wrote the rhyme for you too." Because we all know that Foxy didn't write those rhymes.
Latifah defending her crown isn't petty. Foxy was the petty one. Expecting props from Queen Latifah, the Queen of Hip Hop was silly and her response to the track was even sillier. Foxy claimed that Queen Latifah showed up to her video shoots and flirted with her in hopes of sleeping with her. That's where it got even pettier. She knew she couldn't touch Latifah lyrically even with Jay Z and Nas both writing her rhymes. So Foxy releases "10% Diss," and keeps dissing Latifah for two years straight without a response. Foxy, this is petty and childish.
(Bonus) Queen Latifah - Name Callin 2
Well, during her two years of not responding to Foxie Latifah was busy starring in 4 movies, 1 TV movie, and starring in Living Single. This was just Latifah tired of Foxy throwing rocks at the throne. She just went in over 7 different beats in less than 3 minutes. It was a lyrical slaughter and it made Foxy stop saying Latifah's name and apologize. I don't have anything else to say. Latifah took time out of her busy schedule to end Foxy's career. Here's a few quotes:
"Today I'm not the queen, a sista, role model, or friend, today I'm that bitch that'll shoot you a fair one, this don't exclude men"
"Took so long for your album to drop, I thought you died I missed the wake"
"I'm not trippin', I heard you rippin' but I'm into breakin' bitches, sending them back to their first careers... stripping... Lap dancing for five cents, doing VIPs to make rent"
"The only thing worse then a bitch nigga is these pretty motherfuckers, dressing the part with no heart getting hot niggas to rap with em, so the fuck what? A lot of wack niggas went platinum"
"My name ain't Khadijah, this ain't Living Single"
"Bitch recognize who Queen Latifah is"
3. Notorious BIG - Kick in The Door
Biggie was petty. First off this track is petty for having the stupid long intro skit with The Mad Rapper. Didn't even bother separating it from the rest of the song. Petty BIG. What did the fans do to you? The Mad Rapper is annoying and he's complaining about how people like Biggie make more money despite him having better records. The Mad Rapper just sounds hurt. The Mad Rapper is also a good reason to talk about why this track is petty.
The Mad Rapper is a parody of Nas. Yeah, a lot of this track is aimed at Nas and Wu-Tang and that's only petty because Nas didn't do anything to Biggie. Nas almost signed with Diddy and backed out. Then Diddy found Biggie at a later time. Wu-Tang as a whole didn't do anything to to Biggie. This all started because Biggie was in his feelings. Ghostface stated "Niggas be biting album covers... Niggas bit off Nas shit. You know what I'm saying... Niggas saw his album boom and then did a Nas for that shit." That's it, just a high Ghostface saying no name but Nas. Here's the thing, Nas was the first rapper to put his baby picture on an album. Then Biggie did it for Ready To Die. So maybe Biggie felt Ghostface was calling him out. That's understandable but why did Biggie go at all of Wu-Tang and Nas too? Because he was petty.
Jay Z famously told Nas "Your reign on top was short like leprechauns." Biggie told Nas that first on Kick In The Door, referring to the first time he was referred to as King of New York. The first verse is aimed at Nas where he states "If the beef between us, we can settle it, with the chrome and metal shit." What? Nas did nothing to Biggie and was threatened with death. Third verse is aimed at Wu-Tang where Biggie threatens to throw bleach in Raekwons eyes.
So how did people respond to this? Well Nas recorded "The Message," where he makes references to Biggie creating a fake gangster persona. (Debatable) He also states "A thug changes and love changes and best friends become strangers," because Nas is an emotional guy and he was hurt by Biggie. He actually hung out with Biggie a lot and tried to call when he heard the track and Biggie wouldn't take his calls. Nas was hurt that he got dissed at random and couldn't ever speak to Biggie again for an explanation. Wu-Tang just fuck Biggie and went on with life.
4. Chamillionaire - Roll Call
Mike Jones a dick and Chamillionaire was right in this beef but this track was petty. Chamillionaire signed and becaeme a member of Swishahouse along with Paul Wall. Swishahouse also featured artist like Slim Thug and Mike Jones who would reach international fame. Swishahouse wanted Chamillionaire and Paul Wall to make themselves more gangster for an appeal. Chamillionaire said no and left Swishahouse to sell mixtapes out the back of a red hatchback while also delivering urine samples to labs across Texas. Hard life. But the hustle paid off and he did start to pick up a name for himself. Mike Jones blew up and fucked over everyone in Texas. Chamillionaire stated Texas rappers should work on their lyrics more. Mike Jones took offense to this and he should have because he will repeat the same line up to 6 times in a row. Mike Jones started dissing Chamillionaire and expected everyone else on Swishahouse to help him. Paul and Cham weren't speaking but refused to diss each other. Slim Thug was and still is good friends with Cham so there was no dissing there. Magno was in jail and many believed Mike Jones may have snitched on him.
Here's where it gets petty. Chamillionaire finally responds with Mixtape Messiah 1. A three disc mixtape with majority of it aimed at finally responding to Mike Jones disses. It's a dope mixtape but this track is petty because it's so comedic. Chamillionaire does impressions of other Texas rappers dissing Mike Jones. It was hilarious. He also makes references to the fact that Mike Jones claimed he was the only one being paid. Which may further explain why nobody backed him in this beef with Chamillionaire. Then Mike Jones continued to diss Chamillionaire on a national stage which helped him gain enough popularity to sign his his first major deal.
The track is only petty because a whole mixtape was overkill. I can't be mad because it sparked the Mixtape Messiah series which is the best series of mixtapes ever. Actually you know what, this wasn't petty. Mike Jones was petty for this. Mike Jones was petty for screwing over everyone who helped him. If you're curious what happened Chamillionaire is multi-platinum, taking a break from rap to be a Venture Capitalist and run several businesses. Mike Jones is back to living in his mother's house. It's kind of Mike Jones fault because he screwed so many people over. Chamillionaire even squashed the beef and had Mike Jones appear on some tracks only for Mike to turn around and start dissing again. Just this year Paul Wall said he doesn't even care where Mike is because he burned so many bridges. Mike you Petty. Travi$ Scott look at your future.
5. Rev. MC Hammer - Better Run Run
I just want to say I have never seen anyone dance this hard in a music video for a diss track ever in my life. He should dance hard to exorcise the petty demons from his body. Look, we all know you're broke MC Hammer. We all know every dollar you get has to go through the IRS first still. You lost more money than I'll ever see in my life. When Jay Z stated "Hammer went broke so you know I'm more focused, I lost 30 mil, so I spent another 30, cause unlike Hammer, thirty million can't hurt me," you should have been happy nobody forgot you. Instead you wanted Jay Z's blood. Literally.
MC Hammer collected all the churches tithes and put it together to film the video for Better Run Run, which is a stupid title. The video features him chasing Jay Z and Beyonce hoping to exorcise them of the Illuminati demons residing within them. I can't make this shit up. This is already petty but what about the petty lyrics?
"I could see it in his eyes, the boy sold his soul, devil said "I'ma give you the world" "I'll take it, plus give me a girl" Mr. Devil, can you give me a sign?" He said "Throw the Roc up, thats one of mine" Is MC Hammer comparing Beyonce to a devil spawn? Is he saying Jay Z sold his soul to the devil? Has God blessed Rev. MC Hammer with this ability to see who sold their soul and who hasn't? What are you talking about old man?
"Yo Jay, I got a reason to doubt," I bet the good Reverend MC Hammer thought that was clever. "If I knocked on your door would you come on out? If I knocked on your door that mean I'm knocking you out, if I knocked on your door boy, I'll bust ya in ya mouth," Why did you repeat so much about knocking on the door? Did Mike Jones help write this? Who? The Deacon Mike Jones. "New rules, let me show you the way," MC Hammer should probably sue Jay for this one. MC Hammer started the phrase New Rules and Jay has been using it since 2013 now. I know you could use the money.
"That boy tried to steal my swag," Hammer, c'mon now. This is doing too much. Jay Z doesn't even have any swag. He's said it himself, so how can he steal yours? I never saw Jay in Hammer Pants. MC Hammer's famous song said "STOP...HAMMERTIME." Well, I think it's time to put a stop to Hammertime.
You can hear Darrell on the CP Time and Powerbomb Jutsu podcasts. He also plays classic arcade games on The Cabinet
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Great read. I was familiar with all of this except that last one. Never heard of it. I mean, Hammer has me shaking my head, hard.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what was going through Hammer's head when he decided he'd diss Jay Z. Hammer must have been drinking all the communion wine
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