IDFWU: Cute Baby Pages

It's been a while since I've done one of these so let me cue up the Big Sean real quick and get in the mood. I don't fuck with you, you little stupid...Okay, I'm ready. In case you didn't know, IDFWU is an acronym brought to popularity by Big Sean. It simply means, I don't fuck with you. There's a lot things in the world, and some things you just can't vibe with, therefore you don't fuck with them. Today, I want to tell you something else I don't fuck with, cute baby pages.

If you aren't aware of this trend, there's a ton of these. They've been around for a while but now they're spreading like wildfire. The point of these social media pages is to share pictures and videos of babies they view as cute. Personally, I don't even acknowledge children until they're potty trained and can speak, but some people find them cute. It may be cute chubby babies, cute Black babies or whatever. Doesn't matter, I don't fuck with them for a lot of different reasons.

We can start with the fact that it's just fucking creepy if you run one of these pages. Imagine someone who compiles hundreds, maybe even thousands of pictures of a baby. That's a parent, it's normal. Now imagine that person isn't the parent, and they're just searching for pictures of random babies on the internet. They've got a hard drive full of this stuff. I'm not saying this person is a pedophile, but they should probably be investigated. I said it, I want all the curators of these pages investigated. That shit is creepy, keep in mind, most people probably don't even know their babies are on these pages. Imagine sharing something on Facebook with just your closest friends, and then someone on Instagram re-posts your baby to 44,000 likes. Now you're nervous. Who do I call? The FBI? I know they've got bigger things to worry about, doing sting operations to prevent Black people from being lynched, trying to stop Russians, targeting hate groups the police ignore, or even targeting the police. But, I need to call someone.

Then there's the fact that the themes of these pages are disturbing. I mean, beyond the baby part. There are pages dedicated to just girl babies, just boy babies, just biracial babies. I mean, a baby is a baby, but you're searching for a specific kind of baby? Someone please call 911. You're a fucking creep. You're not spreading positive vibes by sharing this content. You're trying to justify the 36GBs of babies that aren't your child. The Twitter thread of Black dads becoming pillows for their kids, that spread positivity. 100,000 tweets or Instagram posts of random internet babies is borderline criminal.

On top of that, you sick weirdos are photoshopping the babies too. Why would you steal a photo of  a baby from the parent's page only to change it up? Why do you feel the need to give a baby blue eyes, and plumper lips? It's a baby, don't be creepy. Dare I say, you're trying to sexualize a kid with the photoshopping? I mean, plump lips aren't something babies have. They've got little paper thin lips and sharp finger nails, and rarely open their eyes. Babies are a real reminder that humans are animals too. Why are you giving this baby the Kylie Jenner treatment? What is wrong with you people.

I usually like to play the Jay-Z sneak diss card and don't say any names or Nas and say if you're offended it was meant for you. However, I'm calling out one page in particular. It's called Babies World, formerly Kids Slay or something else and I'm sure they'll change the name again. They run a page exclusively devoted to biracial children and have been called out time and time again for stealing photos from parents' personal pages. On top of that, they're know for photoshopping kids' features, skin tones and everything else to be more "desirable." The way they talk about these kids is as if they're products to be sold. "Look at the skin quality of this one," and it just makes the whole thing seem even worse because it sounds like you're trying to sell kids. Beyond that, they also run an interracial dating site for adults called Interracial Match, but the tag line a the time of writing this is "Meet kids all around the world." If that doesn't scream pedophiles or child trafficking, I don't know what does. I can't say because I'm not a detective and I don't know much about that underworld, but I can say it bothers me, and gives me a strange feeling. I know I'm not the only one because one of their accounts was shut down by Instagram, only for someone else to snatch up the username for the purpose of making sure they couldn't get it back.

I just can't get down with these pages. Can't you show pictures of puppies and kittens? Every time I see one of these pages, I block it, because it all just screams wrong to me. I get it, sometimes you see a cute kid and awwww. This however has gone too far. If you're saving an absurd amount of babies to your hard drive, I have to assume something is wrong with you. It has gone way past thinking a kid is cute. Just RT the parent and move on. Don't silently download these photos and videos then take them to other platforms. Cute baby pages, I don't fuck with you. You nasty bastards.

You can download a free copy of my book Phantasmagorical. Also check out some of my work for 12AMFiction.com or hear me on the Powerbomb Jutsu podcast.
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