By: E. Young
BrightNightmares.weebly.com
Cries of “yoooooooo!!” continue this week as the roster dwindles and we rush headlong to Ultima Lucha IV!
Things start off with Matt Striker reading a letter from Cueto to the crowd. Because things went a little south last episode, tonight’s main event will be a four-way match with only four of the people who hate new & current Lucha Underground champion. Those four people are:
Disgraced former champion Pentagon Dark,
Apex hunter King Cuerno,
Dead but delicious Mil Muertes,
And Dragon Azteca Jr who just wants to do right. Remember that as the night goes on because things… happen.
Jack Evans then shoots himself into a work or works himself into a shoot by ranting incoherently about the Temple, the Cueto, XO Lishus, and Matanza. He announces that he’s quitting. Cueto steps in to interrupt with a cryptic message. Look, I don’t care for Jack Evans. His wrestling and character work are exemplary and his impact is massive, but there are times when you just don’t like a dude. However, even I was horrified when Antonio set him up with a You Can’t Quit Match. If he wins, he goes home. If he loses, he goes nowhere. Oh no. That can only mean…
A SACRIFICE MATCH!
You never really thought they would do it. After teasing getting rid of Jack for 3 seasons, they’re finally cutting his contract permanently! The Sacrifice matches have been getting progressively longer and Jack puts up the toughest fight to date, even getting a pin attempt. Sadly, it’s all for naught and Matanza takes him on a quick tour of the islands to his doom. The tone with the Sacrifice matches is still all over the place, and it sucks that Jack had to go out on a semi-comedy note. But if that was the 7th (maybe?) sacrifice, I wonder what’s next…
With Jack out of the way forever, we move on to the Trios championship match. It’s Xo Lishus, Ivelisse, and Good Guy Joey Ryan versus the Reptiles. Joey, Ivelisse, and Xo’s contrasting styles and personalities work surprisingly well, but their time in the sun is interrupted by Paul London… and the all-new, all-different Rabbit Tribe! More importantly, we get our first good look at KILLER KR—I mean the White Rabbit! Man does he look bad ass. I can’t wait for that guy to mix some shit up, I only regret that he’s coming so late in the season.
The trios match continues. It’s a good competitive match and teamwork is where the Reptile tribe really shines, although all three as individuals are great too. It’s good to see Daga and Xo getting a lot of shine. Jeremiah is subjected to a crotch lollipop spot with Joey Ryan and that seems appropriate. Alas, the informal team don’t quite pull it off and Joey eats a submission from Daga. While they comfort each other in the ring, the Dark Rabbits hop down to murderize, brutalize, run up on, etc. What a grand introduction. I’m always pro-Rabbits but I hope the rest of this season is really their moment. Tick-tock!
Next, Drago and Aerostar face Jake Strong in a nunchuck (or nunchaku for those of us that know what the hell we’re talking about) match. Fenix, usually a liability, actually would have helped out a lot in this match. Jake is big, strong, mean, and kind of psycho. Fenix is kind of big, pretty strong, and I don’t know about mean but we’ve established he ain’t all right in the head.
Drago and Aerostar are bad ass in this match but unfortunately Jake is too much to overcome. Go out of your way to catch it; the first nunchaku match (Drago’s signature) was sick but this one has a much different tone of desperation. Jake no selling all the nunchaku shots made him look like a beast. He ends up wrapping Aerostar up in the ankle lock and Jake wants his ankles, but Drago intervenes… only to be the recipient of a leg snap. Brutal and nasty. Poor Drago, bet he misses Kobra Moon.
Finally, it’s time to air our grievances in this four way match. Remember what I said about the participants? Not only do they hate Marty, but they hate each other as well. Well, I don’t know if Dragon Azteca truly hates anyone currently participating. But he’s in it to win it. The winner of the match has an automatic shot against Marty at Ultima Lucha IV, which further makes the GotG belt look a little pointless. Big sigh.
As expected of a match full of this much hate, the action is brutal and incredibly stiff. Oddly enough, Mil and Pentagon take back seats here to Cuerno and Azteca for a good chunk of the match. I’m always down to give Dragon Azteca focus, but he pulls an Exit – Stage Right on himself when Evil Fenix attacks Melissa. Azteca does a fantastic top rope dive on Fenix, slugs him, and chases him out of the arena. Classic dumb babyface move seen countless times, makes me mad every time.
With Azteca gone, that leaves us with a ring full of heels. Who will out heel the rest? Mil looks primed to take this position but he is quickly swerved by yet another ghost from his past: Willie Mack! I really thought Willie was dead for the season but here he is alive and well, delivering a stunner to Mil and knocking him the eff out. Pentagon takes the pin and he will be the one facing Marty at Ultima Lucha IV to (hopefully) get his title back! Meanwhile, Mack informs Mil that they will have a date in a deathmatch. Rest in peace, mufucka.
This episode was great and I wish Ultima Lucha IV was next week. Sadly, it is not. So next week we will have to answer questions like where the hell did Azteca and Fenix go? How many hard cuss words does LU get per season? What kind of drugs do the Rabbit tribe imbibe? All this and more, next time!
BrightNightmares.weebly.com
Cries of “yoooooooo!!” continue this week as the roster dwindles and we rush headlong to Ultima Lucha IV!
Things start off with Matt Striker reading a letter from Cueto to the crowd. Because things went a little south last episode, tonight’s main event will be a four-way match with only four of the people who hate new & current Lucha Underground champion. Those four people are:
Disgraced former champion Pentagon Dark,
Apex hunter King Cuerno,
Dead but delicious Mil Muertes,
And Dragon Azteca Jr who just wants to do right. Remember that as the night goes on because things… happen.
Jack Evans then shoots himself into a work or works himself into a shoot by ranting incoherently about the Temple, the Cueto, XO Lishus, and Matanza. He announces that he’s quitting. Cueto steps in to interrupt with a cryptic message. Look, I don’t care for Jack Evans. His wrestling and character work are exemplary and his impact is massive, but there are times when you just don’t like a dude. However, even I was horrified when Antonio set him up with a You Can’t Quit Match. If he wins, he goes home. If he loses, he goes nowhere. Oh no. That can only mean…
A SACRIFICE MATCH!
You never really thought they would do it. After teasing getting rid of Jack for 3 seasons, they’re finally cutting his contract permanently! The Sacrifice matches have been getting progressively longer and Jack puts up the toughest fight to date, even getting a pin attempt. Sadly, it’s all for naught and Matanza takes him on a quick tour of the islands to his doom. The tone with the Sacrifice matches is still all over the place, and it sucks that Jack had to go out on a semi-comedy note. But if that was the 7th (maybe?) sacrifice, I wonder what’s next…
With Jack out of the way forever, we move on to the Trios championship match. It’s Xo Lishus, Ivelisse, and Good Guy Joey Ryan versus the Reptiles. Joey, Ivelisse, and Xo’s contrasting styles and personalities work surprisingly well, but their time in the sun is interrupted by Paul London… and the all-new, all-different Rabbit Tribe! More importantly, we get our first good look at KILLER KR—I mean the White Rabbit! Man does he look bad ass. I can’t wait for that guy to mix some shit up, I only regret that he’s coming so late in the season.
The trios match continues. It’s a good competitive match and teamwork is where the Reptile tribe really shines, although all three as individuals are great too. It’s good to see Daga and Xo getting a lot of shine. Jeremiah is subjected to a crotch lollipop spot with Joey Ryan and that seems appropriate. Alas, the informal team don’t quite pull it off and Joey eats a submission from Daga. While they comfort each other in the ring, the Dark Rabbits hop down to murderize, brutalize, run up on, etc. What a grand introduction. I’m always pro-Rabbits but I hope the rest of this season is really their moment. Tick-tock!
Next, Drago and Aerostar face Jake Strong in a nunchuck (or nunchaku for those of us that know what the hell we’re talking about) match. Fenix, usually a liability, actually would have helped out a lot in this match. Jake is big, strong, mean, and kind of psycho. Fenix is kind of big, pretty strong, and I don’t know about mean but we’ve established he ain’t all right in the head.
Drago and Aerostar are bad ass in this match but unfortunately Jake is too much to overcome. Go out of your way to catch it; the first nunchaku match (Drago’s signature) was sick but this one has a much different tone of desperation. Jake no selling all the nunchaku shots made him look like a beast. He ends up wrapping Aerostar up in the ankle lock and Jake wants his ankles, but Drago intervenes… only to be the recipient of a leg snap. Brutal and nasty. Poor Drago, bet he misses Kobra Moon.
Finally, it’s time to air our grievances in this four way match. Remember what I said about the participants? Not only do they hate Marty, but they hate each other as well. Well, I don’t know if Dragon Azteca truly hates anyone currently participating. But he’s in it to win it. The winner of the match has an automatic shot against Marty at Ultima Lucha IV, which further makes the GotG belt look a little pointless. Big sigh.
As expected of a match full of this much hate, the action is brutal and incredibly stiff. Oddly enough, Mil and Pentagon take back seats here to Cuerno and Azteca for a good chunk of the match. I’m always down to give Dragon Azteca focus, but he pulls an Exit – Stage Right on himself when Evil Fenix attacks Melissa. Azteca does a fantastic top rope dive on Fenix, slugs him, and chases him out of the arena. Classic dumb babyface move seen countless times, makes me mad every time.
With Azteca gone, that leaves us with a ring full of heels. Who will out heel the rest? Mil looks primed to take this position but he is quickly swerved by yet another ghost from his past: Willie Mack! I really thought Willie was dead for the season but here he is alive and well, delivering a stunner to Mil and knocking him the eff out. Pentagon takes the pin and he will be the one facing Marty at Ultima Lucha IV to (hopefully) get his title back! Meanwhile, Mack informs Mil that they will have a date in a deathmatch. Rest in peace, mufucka.
This episode was great and I wish Ultima Lucha IV was next week. Sadly, it is not. So next week we will have to answer questions like where the hell did Azteca and Fenix go? How many hard cuss words does LU get per season? What kind of drugs do the Rabbit tribe imbibe? All this and more, next time!
