1. Cassidy - B.A.R.S. vs Da Hustla
I think Cassidy has multiple personality dissorder. In this song Cassidy takes the time to diss Bars but then Bars disses Da Hustla. It's Cassidy dissing Cassidy then responding to Cassidy dissing Cassidy. It's in the form of a rap battle so it's easy to follow but that doesn't change the fact that Cassidy has the best diss track to Cassidy. Someone once said Cassidy would drop a thirty minute diss track if his McDonalds order was late.
On this day Cassidy looked into the mirror and didn't like the way the crust had settled in his eye that morning. Instead of simply washing his face he went into the studio and started writing about how he wasn't shit. Then he heard the track and decided he didn't like what Cassidy was saying about Cassidy. Then he recorded a response track and the producer just put the two together for his album.
Since Cassidy wrote it you know everything in it is true. Some of the best lines:
"How the fuck you run Philly and you ain't never there," Cassidy was living in Arizona at the time
"The record I'm a Hustla was stupid, cause Jay made more off the record than you did and Swizz made more off the record than you did" That's both Jay Z who was sampled and J-Records, Cassidy's label at the time as well as the producer Swizz Beats. Everyone got paid except Cassidy for one of his biggest hits. That's gotta hurt.
"You was locked up on protective custody," Cassidy has erased Cassidy's street cred.
"You a snitch, you a rat, you'll sing, you'll hold the note," wait, Cassidy called Cassidy a snitch
"Cause you ain't never sold no coke in you life, trust me," did you tell the truth about anything?
"You ain't worth shit, you went gold on your first disc, and I'm a Hustla sold less then your first shit, nigga." So Cassidy is saying he's broke, his first album went gold and his second with his biggest song still hasn't gone gold? Damn Cassidy why you do it to yourself?
2. Royce Da 5'9 - Malcolm X
Royce Da 5'9 was Eminem's original rap buddy. He was the original hypeman for Eminem. Then D12 came along and replaced Royce. Royce tried to move on and some of the members of D12 5/6 of them didn't like that. Eminem stayed out of this stating that D12 were adults and "I'm not talking to Royce ever again." That's a real quote folks. A few diss tracks went back and forth mainly from Bizarre.
Then Royce decided he wanted to be funny and crack some jokes. That's when he released Malcolm X. After this track Royce and Proof of D12 met in a club and before a fight could break out they were both arrested then put in adjacent cells. They spent the night talking over their issues and everything seemed good until Bizarre stopped talking but Royce had the last laugh. Before D12 released another project Eminem signed Slaughterhouse and released an album with Royce. Sadly Proof died but it was unrelated to this beef.
Some of the funniest lines from the track:
"Y'all niggas sound like y'all write y'all rhymes with motherfuckin' crayons," I guess that's why Eminem is the lead singer and chicks don't know the name of his band.
"Since Slim signed 50, I don't see your teeth as much, that's good, cause you got a grill like a fuckin truck," Proof replaced Royce as hypeman and Proof was replaced by 50 Cent. Proof's teeth weren't the greatest but if you see my teeth before braces, I can't judge.
"I just wish Eminem would stop tellin' everybody he ain't speakin' to me, like I'm one of his hoes or something." Royce isn't 50, D12, Obie Trice or any of them.
"Bizarre say G-g-g-g-g-g-unit, I bet you throw some extra "g's" in it, ust like a stuttering fool can't reach intelligence, he sweats when he raps, cuz he got a speach impediment," That's self explanatory and pretty funny.
"Denaun and Swifty please, give it a year, both y'all be rakin' 50's leaves," until 2 weeks ago they may have actually been raking 50s leaves because they weren't doing anything else.
"That other nigga y'all got in your group, I don't even know his name, but he can shovel my snow," Kuniva, his name is Kuniva.
3. Tyga - Chiraq to L.A. ft. The Game
Tyga sucks and that's not even the funniest thing about this track. Lil Durk stated he wanted to fuck Black Chyna (Mother of Tyga's Child) when asked about it Tyga stated it was disrespectful. Lil Durk didn't like that Tyga called him disrespectful so he teamed up with Meek Mill for Chiraq. On the original Chiraq track Lil Durk stated "Heard Tyga sneak dissing on me, tell them thot bitches I'm not right, tyga only got one name but that nigga ain't got one stripe, he backpack, so easy to get the nigga shit snatched, ask Marly Marl to get his shit back, in Chiraq, don't come here, you ain't from here? Don't come here." Funny thing is Tyga didn't even sneak diss him. He openly stated in an interview it was disrespectful. Tyga let the Chiraq song ride. Then Lil Durk started posting instagram videos and tweeting Tyga.
That's when Tyga realized he had to respond. The thing is Tyga knows he isn't a great rapper anymore. Don't argue with me, "Coconut Juice" was dope. Tyga was dope then he signed to Young Money and now he's sleeping with underage girls. Well Tyga had to respond so what does he do? He hires a rap mercenary. He pays someone for a verse who will diss anyone and is undefeated in beef. He hires The Game who didn't even realize who he was dissing until halfway through his verse. After the song dropped Lil Durk promised to murder Tyga and Game. Not on the mic but in the streets. Game met him anticipating a shootout and Durk apologized because it's just business. Then Durk faded into obscurity and Tyga's music went down even lower. Game's doing okay tho.
Some of Tyga's best lines:
"Who the fuck is Lil Durk?" Good question right?
"Tryna be a baller? End up like Flip in "Above The Rim"" That was a dope movie.
"You too small like Smeagol," you think we could get Tyga to promote Blerds?
"You from Illinois? I'll bring the noise," that's just classic Tyga. Maybe he should try to heat up like some leftover lasagna.
"You ain't platinum? Don’t talk to me. Grammy nominated? Don't talk to me, 20 Million? Don’t talk to me," Tyga is 3x platinum and Grammy nominated, maybe he's got 20 million but the rap game is all fucked up man.
"It's levels to this shit boy, you basement? Don't talk to me," Meek Mill was also on that Chiraq song. It was on his album. He allowed this. Tyga actually had a good one right there. Looks like Meek has a history of taking Ls from light skinned Young Money artist.
Okay, enough Tyga. let's talk about Game because he's hilarious:
"First off lemme go on 40 Glocc again, talk about my kids on Instagram, nigga must wanna get his ass socked again," Look, Game is admittedly heartbroken about not being married to the mother of his children. He even adopted her daughter that isn't his and takes her out with his kids. 40 Glocc got instagram and stated he wanted to fuck her. Game might hurt 40 Glocc again. If you haven't seen the video, Game beats up 40 Glocc with one hand and records with the other while providing commentary.
"Have a bitch nigga running to the cops again," 40 Glocc is a gangster rapper but had Game arrested and sued him for $4.5 million after the charges were dropped. He settled for $40,000.
"Tyga hit me like "Durk dissing" Dirk Nowitzki? Dirk who nigga?, Never heard of these niggas," Dirk Nowitzki lucked out. He almost caught a diss track.
"I'm taking bitches, I'm taking chains, yeah I'm Young Bergin' these niggas," this isn't funny. Yung Berg has his chain taken every three months. It's sad.
"Ain't start making guns when they made you nigga," that one is a shot at Lil Reese who didn't say anything but Game doesn't approve of beating women at all.
"I'm talkin' to the man, with no fans," Game sells records and somehow Tyga does too. Anybody buy a Durk album?
"I might be more Chi Town than Ye," Debatable. Kanye, he's questioning your Chicago loyalty.
"Dis ain't what they want, nobody knows you, bitch I thought that was Future's song" C'mon man, don't deny it. A lot of these rappers sound alike now. It's understandable Game could confuse Durk for Future since nobody knows Durk.
4. J Kwon - Pushing The Odds
I'm gonna keep this short. Y'all owe J Kwon some paper for mentioning him. J-Kwon most known for his everlasting hit "Tipsy" had been taking some time off from rap music. Only to get mentioned by Pusha T and Odd Future. J-Kwon didn't like that so he hood hopped his way back to the studio. See what I did there? Because, Hood Hop is the name of J-Kwon's first album.
J Kwon was inspired by B.O.B's verse on "Am I Psycho." He wasn't going to take these Odd Future jokes lying down. He also wasn't going to let Pusha T make jokes either. J Kwon body slammed that beat. Here are some excerpts:
"Hi kids, I see these wack rappers like braids all in his head, did exactly as I did," That would be clever but Pusha has had those braids since at least 1993. That's not even a joke. Pusha T has been signed to a record deal and dropping music videos since 1993. J Kwon was 7 that means he did exactly as Pusha did.
"You only here cause your team pull strings like a violin," I'll allow it because everyone knows Malice was always killing Pusha on tracks and nobody expected Pusha to be able to rap solo and this was before Pusha's first solo album dropped.
"Keep pressing me, just tryna get them press release," ain't nobody getting press for dissing J Kwon.
"You just getting bread, Push, I've been straight for a second," apparently J Kwon is unaware of chart toppers such as "What Happened To That Boy," "Grinding," and a personal favorite "Mr. Me Too."
"Let me respect my elders I'm 26 that nigga 35," Okay, that was good. Then you remember that remember that Jay Z is 45 and Chuck D is 55 so being an old rapper isn't so bad anymore.
Well that's it for Pusha. Couldn't even get a fully 16 bar verse. What about Odd Future?
"I bought a whip, color: odd future, since -04 I had the odd fusia," What does this even mean? You got a purple car in 04?
"You wanna fight? Yeah right, I turn off your light like I'm Future," he called Pusha T old then threatened to beat up Odd Future, mostly teenagers at the time. That's something an old man does Mr. J. Kwon
"Lil homie you don't know me, quit fucking with me," that is definitely something I've heard old men say.
"Fucking kids wear wigs and fucking with niggas," he doesn't even rap this part. It's just said like a grouchy old man.
"You The fucking Creator, is you like really creative," that's it. We're done here.
You know what? This is a great diss track. J Kwon obviously has no idea who any of these people are outside of Tyler and Pusha. He doesn't even realize Pusha T has been rapping for over 20 years. He's just annoyed people mentioned his name. It came on his kid's ipod and he had to sit there with the "I eat booty" face while his kid asks "Isn't your rap name J Kwon daddy?" Now he had to go in the studio with no research and respond. Tyler didn't even say his name. It was Taco.
This is a great diss because J Kwon doesn't know these people. He just had to shoot back to defend his pride. That's why it's great because he didn't just ignore it like a lot of people Odd Future mentioned. J Kwon just had to come out of nowhere with this one. That's why he had more hooks than verses.
5. Crooked I - I'm Throwed (Week 2)
Laughing at crackheads is wrong. Crooked I did just that, laughed at a crackhead. Someone should have told him "Stop playing with that man habit." It all start when DMX (possibly high on crack. It's always a possibility) did an interview where he stated:
You know, there’s talented rappers everywhere, and one West Coast rapper who I like and respect is Game, because to me, he has a New York style. But I don’t like a lot of West Coast rappers. West Coast rap is too laid back, too focused on marijuana with all the blunts and lowriders. There’s nothing honest. There’s no trouble in it, you know? There’s no hardship in it. Everyone in L.A. that raps has a lowrider and a fat blunt. Back here in New York, we’re still walkin’ and still smokin’ dirt, you know? There’s no hardship in their rap, there’s nothin’ to make you say, “I can relate to thatCrooked I felt like DMX was stating the only rapper from the West Coast that could rap was The Game and Crooked I didn't like that. Crooked I is from the West Coast. Crooked I is a rapper. Crooked I likes to make crack jokes.
Here are some excerpts:
"Pookie from New Jack, smoking them Chris Rocks," crack joke #1
"You don't like what we rap about? Keep wrapping your mouth around your crack pipe." crack joke #2
"You with the glass dick in your mouth," crack joke #3
"Can't even say "crack the motherfucking window" around this fucking junkie," crack joke #4
"Niggas say crack the door and he start looking on the floor," crack joke #5
Don Imus also got a verse in this track but we all know Don Imus is a bitch.
You can hear Darrell on the CP Time and Powerbomb Jutsu podcasts. He also plays classic arcade games on The Cabinet
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